Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
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Top comments
TheNinjaCat 10
That must've put a damper on your day.. See what I did there?
that1guy1 13
Are you saying you'd prefer she was seriously hurt? Edit: someone beat me to it.
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Comments (56)
example947 0
Well at least she isn't actually hurt
m0tl3ycru3 0
Time for OP to clean.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Screaming? A wet cloth? A kitchen? Hmmm.. This case is getting even more confusing...
Keyman1212 14
Oh no! A wet cloth! What will OP do?! Their life must be in shambles...
ant1078 7
Well... Atleast ur moms not a wet blanket
Streeet_hayley 6
That awkward moment when the wet cloth isnt water..
margie2194 12
Now that there is true love.
that1guy1 13
Are you saying you'd prefer she was seriously hurt? Edit: someone beat me to it.
m0tl3ycru3 0
The mom who cried wolf?
lexex1 4
Atleast she was in the kitchen.
ohmandapants 17
I like her sense of humor. And I agree with the posts above me, aren't you glad she wasn't hurt? She's just a good prankster bro. I would have laughed if I were you.
TheNinjaCat 10
That must've put a damper on your day.. See what I did there?
tweetypie 18
I SEE WHAT YOU ******* DID THERE!!!
markrs 0
Yes. We see what you did there. Why? Are you incapable of doing anything better that you have to state your puns? If so, allow me to congratulate you. YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB. Do you GET what I did there?
FiremanMike 0
They do that on family guy... Well played sir.
rhpsfan9 10
What was the cloth wet from?
P374RD3D 9
no... just no
Andr913 13
Cabbages. It was wet from cabbages. Not water.
captainfalcon7 0
it's not that bad.. she played a baby joke on you. You can joke back.
craw1992 0
Haha that's simple but funny joke. Good sense of humor!
every1luvsboners 11
*thinking of a sexist woman in kitchen joke* Nope, nothing.
Buttsexpirate 9
Teehee, the wet cloth dispenser strikes again! Fear her watery clothness!
Fruit_Dealer 9
Powered by redstone I hope? I'm pretty sure no one will get this.
mojojojo91 6
OP: What happened mom?! Mom: *throws wet cloth* HAHAHAHA! Oh, wipe the counters now since you're here. OP: ........