Today, I learned what the phrase "Never trust a far", is all about. I spent several minutes trying to wash my filthy underwear in the sink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Never trust a fart or autocorrect either… Words to live by.
metroido 21
what!? people shit themselves? i thought you were’t supposed to trust a fart because it might not be silent.
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Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
Never trust a fart or autocorrect either… Words to live by.
metroido 21
what!? people shit themselves? i thought you were’t supposed to trust a fart because it might not be silent.