Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

Demon drink

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

Get back here!

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

My life

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

Domestic

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

Boozehound

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

It's just liquid fun

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML