Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."
Gidget772001 0
she's crazy!!!
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Comments (153)
Gidget772001 0
she's crazy!!!
schwinn11 0
No, she's not crazy, she just knows how to have fun.
SelfGenocide 0
this must be the woman that got in a fight at Krystle Burger.
IronLionZion_fml 0
Run her over?
JL2011 0
amen to that haha
Rocco1990 0
If OP is from Alberta, I'm not quite sure what the quality of looks is with the women nowadays.
deathcab7 0
haha, this post made my day
drunastunamazing 0
haha 51 I thought that was what I was going to read again!
AntiTroll17 0
LMFAO
omfgItzme 0
wow that's just...wow..
hpotterluvr 0
omfg that sucks
heyheyt 0
hahah I totally agree
DemonChicken 0
I wish my mom was that awsome
BbYhRtLsS 0
Made me feel 10x's better about my day
mattf013 0
I think it was mire than alcohol maybe like acid
StoryOfTheYear 15
#53 totally jacked my punchline, that is conpletly fyl I wouldn't have folowed her and let her ruin her life :/
SAM5000 0
this Fml is fake
MQ_was_here 0
LOL.
sadiestitches 0
rotfl this is quite the fml for the imagination
Rawr100 0
lololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
NeonWar__ 0
wow, hide all the drink in your house! Why were you driving? should've run after her!
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
Blame Canada!
Lisa89 3
you should of just left..
unfortunate_13 5
^ haha me too!
XDNurse 0
nice eragon name... (random)
anthraxcp 0
uhoh grammar Nazi up in here
Enoch134 0
shoot her leg next time lol jk what's worst haveing to see ur mother naked or paying for her AA meeting
jessicams 0
what AA meetings have you gone to? they don't cost. at least they don't where I'm from
johnny6131 0
they do, you have to pay for everything nowadays.
skyshark 0
Sounds like a load of BS. how long did it take you to make this up so you can get attention? I'd only believe it if you're poor as dirt and your mom sleeps with the neighbor boys for drug money cause your mom would have to be on drugs to do that.
Anon17564 3
Alcohol's a drug. And I've seen things like this before. It's not so far off deciding you want to kick somebody's head in because you think he looks at you funny. That's very, very common with alcohol - this sort of thing happens too. Hell, my dad got drunk and decided he was going to break into the field nearby and ride the horses - got thrown off one and nearly broke his back.
juscreablu 0
some people don't handle alcohol as well as others
skyshark 0
So is Tylenol, but you don't see it used in the reference I did. The average person knows the kind of drugs I'm implying, if you're in that below avg. catagory say so and I'll spell everything out in detail for you. FYL, cause you have the genes of a dumbass who rides the neighbors horses drunk, sucks to be you.
canadianbuddy_fml 0
oh no it can be possible anything can happen in Canada* like anyone out of their own mind would run naked in this weather next to that the snow on the ground*
1inbed 0
wow aren't u a lil bastard thinking tht u can just come up in here and talk crap to everybody. when ure drunk anything is possible. and I deffinetly know this one is true cuz tht happened last week with my best friends mom( who only had beer). except she was screaming help she's trying to rape me!
skyshark 0
I can and will "come up in here" and say whatever I feel like. FYL for not even being able to speak some sort of coherent English. When you're done being a failure at life, go back to school and learn how to talk.
totes_sucks 0
You should probably curb your matricidal tendencies then.
ryndckrsn 0
mmm......this is funny i have to only think of what that picture looks like!!!!! :)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."
BannedStory 0
lols lmao rolf .
CallMeHush 1
Would you also get naked to run with the naked person or strictly come as you are?
omgitsdomonique 0
hell, have a sexy party. with some acid maybe stewie will show up. :)
CallMeHush 1
Beware, Beware, Beware of the naked man.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"We're going streaking!! We're going to run up the Quads to the Gymnasium! C'mon, everyone! STREAKING!"
CallMeHush 1
Will you look at that... hey! Is that Frank?
jnrockstar10 0
@#62 Its peanut butter jelly time!!!!!!
epictrollathon 0
Agreed. WIN!
hjrn 0
you should have called the cops on her and got it all on video. That would be a great piece of ammunition when she told you not to do something.
spikey818 9
call animal control