Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."
Gidget772001 0
she's crazy!!!
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Comments (153)
epictrollathon 0
I'm sorry, but I'd be too busy rolling on the front lawn laughing to chase my mom in a car if she did this. I admire your mother's shamelessness.
marycharles 0
hahaha I officially love your mom!!!!
mandababyyy 0
this totally made my day!! oh and btw, ur mom ****** rockssss!
dannthemannxx 0
lmfaoo that's hilarious.
peachezthelette 22
lmfao this is the best one I read so far.!
canadianbuddy_fml 0
awww I wish I was there to see it too bad I was trying to sleep over a yelling idiot :(
comedychick 1
LMFAOOOOO love THIS
77_PUNKER 0
damn she got fu#*ed up she will be feeling that hangover
chelseagraden 0
this is great :)
XR6Falcon 0
that was snickadoodles in the car chasing her mum!