Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
hmm people make typos?
three3_fml 2
Your wife is getting ******,
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Comments (259)
bobbyh1125 0
maybe she made a typo?!?
SupermanXL 3
damn you auto correct!
cookieluver5678 3
typo
Eorlas 31
shes a *****
Gunz24 0
**** her sister and her mom if she's a milf. she will cry herself to sleep for weeks... =]
MrSStrupe514 0
Kick her in the puss!
meezydagreat 0
that really made me lol!
Gunz24 0
then tell her she should take some pointers. no doubt she tried to lie and slipped. twist the knife as hard as you can now.
moonsolomon 0
How can anyone know what gender she meant if the original message was in French? Possessive adjectives in French take on the gender of the object being possessed, not the possessor.
Quiet_one 22
I was thinking this too. My guess is that it was originally something like the difference between ami and amie, which wouldn't show in English. Or maybe she said something like "je vais rester chez lui" instead of "chez elle"? It just shows how much of a nerd I am that I actually considered trying to find the original on the French site just because I wanted to see how it was worded there.
Doortje 30
This is the original VDM: Aujourd'hui, pendant la nuit, je reçois un SMS de ma compagne partie boire un verre avec des amies : "Obligée de ramener une copine chez elle. Trop bu ! Du coup, je couche chez lui. On se bipe demain matin." VDM
ImaginaryFoe 1
In French, it looks even less likely to be a typo or an auto-correct issue. Incidentally, if OP and his wife are fluent in French, I'm sure he was able to read her text accurately and he posted the FML (VDM). This is not a translation issue.
GalaxyShots 21
The OP is a girl.
red1355 6
sounds like my ex.... ya buddy..... she cheating..... sorry about your luck!!
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
She is innocent. As the designated driver she may have just wanted to take her friend home, have a couple of drinks and girltalk. Maybe some of the other girls came too. Like a slumber party. (: Seriously get over the controlling, jealousy and insecurity and always assume the best of your spouse or you will lose her.