Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
TrueTriage 16
AND he was drunk off his ass. Extra points for faithful while wasted. Makes me wonder how hot this woman actually was though beer goggles are a powerful thing
Inheritance 10
Drunks say the darnest things.
PierceTheEman 4
Indeed. This shows that he actually gives a ****. You should be happy.
killer6969 16
He's ur hubby and ur dating? And I agree atleast he's faithful even drunk heeds to him
Strikerr 5
be happy he's loyal and stop being so negative.
Palirose 22
Am I missing something here? I interpreted the FML as him trying to be unfaithful but his attempts failed him, possibly because the other woman wasn't interested...>_> Im wondering if she had been...I doubt he would've been faithful. -.- You're all saying he was faithful because his attempt to cheat failed? what about the next time he's drunk or sober then he meets a woman who is interested?
twinny_sc 13
The woman hit on OP's husband not the other way around.
NurseHolly 3
The FML reads "beautiful woman who hit on him"?
TheWindowLicker 13
Everyone take a look at 42. That's a perfect example of what not to do around here. Never go full retard.
iOceanus 18
94 - Seriously, your profile pic is freakin' adorable. I just had to let you know.
PierceTheEman 4
Thank youu
Eliseopwns 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey, he's a good man. Reward him for his faithfulness with a cookie :D
newbiehere99 6
I thought this comment was going sexual ... Unless cookie is a new sex position.
MindFreakazoid 10
I don't even want to know what went through your head when you read that comment...
Myo_fml 20
I think he does deserve a bit more than a cookie though for that degree of loyalty.
gigi1981 13
I see what you did there :)
love_me_electric 20
So he should be rewarded for telling his wife he wishes he wasn't married to her so he could have sex with other women? I don't think so, I'd be pissed if my bf said this to me.
Eliseopwns 22
Would you rather be pissed, divorced(or broken up, this FML is confusing) and crying or just pissed?
gxkon 5
That is no good. At least you know he won't cheat on you for now.
shayshayshazam 14
She knows no such thing. The seed is planted...
shifted 5
56-the seed isn't planted, he is wanting to plant it.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
ClassyCommando 13
If she's smart, she won't make him sleep on the couch. Not only was he able to remain faithful while drunk, he was honest with her about it. If he is punished for this, he might not be faithful or honest next time.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Husband -"Aww, honey, there was this SUPER hot bitch at the bar today, aww man, I would've wrecked that chick. But too bad, I'm married to you baby." OP - "WOW honey! You are soo faithful, I don't mind that you find this other women more sexually attractive than me at all, I will now reward you with sex." Now picture this scenario, and in this scenario you are OP. Would YOU be happy after hearing this? And would YOU respond like this?
sexyaniknowit 7
She should kick him in the balls and give him a really good reason to cry!
ClassyCommando 13
47- I suppose that would depend on how drunk he was.
ClassyCommando 13
78- You would kick a crying drunk man in the balls?
sexyaniknowit 7
127- if he came home and had the balls to tell me that hell yeah I would!
lennelleong 33
#47: why should the OP's husband be punished for telling *her* the truth? if she cannot be trusted to be his confidante, then who is he to confide in when he's drunk? Remember why teenagers don't want to talk to their parents? the last thing i would want is for OP's husband to bottle up his thoughts and feelings even if they are wrong. He didn't commit a crime. No one can help a pang of regret now and then.
annie_nk 23
Dating and married are different. The story could be completely different depending on what he told the girl at the bar.
RealZA_fml 20
90% of what a drunk man tells you is the truth.
katties 27
Drunk people often say a lot of crap they don't even mean - later they don't even know where they got it from /:|
newbiehere99 6
If I need any information from friends, I take them out clubbing, get them drunk, then let them tell me what I need to know.
fuzz97 23
But there's always that 10%
Meettitan 14
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Myo_fml 20
I make up things to tell people that aren't even close to being true while drunk. It's not a truth potion for everyone.
ObsceneOblivion 4
The last time I got properly drunk, I called my then-boyfriend and told him to sleep with his ex (I wasn't ready for sex). When I woke up and was told what I'd said, my reaction was "Oh... Shit." Definitely not something I wanted to happen.
yoursucklives 36
so you're 16 now and you've been together with your "now"-boyfriend for two and a half years. that means your were not older than 13 the last time you were properly drunk? but at least you didn't have sex then.
smurfsarwales 9
Apparently, shes also engaged at that same age (16). Its much more likely that she entered her birth date wrong or fml messed it up.
cray_cray 2
Maybe open your marriage up a bit? Swinging isn't a terrible idea and if done correctly could lead to a more fun/healthier marriage.
Zoomali 1
He cried because he couldn't go home with a beautiful chick. He is a jerk and you should find someone who finds you beautiful, inside and out.
Eliseopwns 22
He was DRUNK. I think that gives that gives him the right to be honest. In all honesty, there's always people more attractive than your loved one.
annie_nk 23
The fact that he didn't cheat, even while drunk off his ass, proves he's a keeper and can be trusted to go to bars alone.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Not lucky. You're just in love. Don't confuse the two. There ARE and always will be better looking people than you or your significant other... But in this case, you find him the most attractive because you only have eyes for him. Lets hope he only has eyes for you too. ;)
wickedninja918 1
60- I'm sure he feels the same way (or at least I usually do)
Karma220 7
That sounds like the perfect thing to do if you were unfaithful
BigDogMatt 13
At least he's not a pig and cheating