Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
hmm people make typos?
three3_fml 2
Your wife is getting ******,
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Comments (259)
duckie227 22
typo?
TheJawsman 18
"His" penis is in "her" ******. Think about it:P Seriously though, do some snooping before you jump to conclusions.
ii_eatz_cookiez_ 0
Wow. That's ****** up. You shoulda said something like your out with an old ex-girlfriend of yours or somethin like that..
GreeneyedWonder 0
Don't freak out OP, it could be a typo, but you either need to confront her or ask one of her friends if she left with a guy.
Gunz24 0
your reply should have been. ' bring your friend over. we have a couch ' or ' cool hope your friend has room for one more '
Acousticpixie14 6
Dear People Who Say She Was Drunk, The FML clearly states that his wife's friend was drunk and she was driving her home. Hence, OP's wife was not drunk. Sincerely, Kylie P.S. I still think the "she's" was the typo and her friend is a gay man.
Gunz24 0
' honey ... I'll be at my friends house. she said she's drunk and wants me to come talk . see ya in the morning !'
ImaginaryFoe 1
Call her to make sure she is okay and get some clarifying details then. I don't think being concerned by a discrepancy makes you paranoid or mistrustful.
LesCDeal 6
I know that my iPhone's autocorrect is capable of some pretty bizarre things, but I've never had it change 'her' to 'his'. What's even more troubling is that if her friend was drunk and your wife was apparently sober, why the need to stay at "her" place? That's not what married couples should be doing, regardless of the friend's sex. Unfortunately, there is no easy way for you to immediately find out what is going on. You will just have to watch out for any unusual behavior in the coming days and weeks. Be on the lookout. I'm not saying she is cheating, but this 'Freudian Slip' is in line with someone trying to hide something. I just don't see how she would confuse her girl friend with a 'he'. I know I would never do that. Give her the benefit of the doubt, but keep your eyes open.
Daydreamer86 0
Damn you autocorrect!