Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
hmm people make typos?
three3_fml 2
Your wife is getting ******,
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Comments (259)
ohmek 0
if your wife is going out with her "girlfriends" you most likely know them too . So instead of saying 'friend' why not just say her name instead of making it so mysterious. It just seems odd that someone you both know would say friend instead of her name. Then she says "his place" like you have no idea who any of these people are.
puddincup 0
because she sent it to the wrong person by mistake
idklalaalala 0
maybe he's gay?
teihas 7
I see no real evidence of infidelity. There are several much more likely explanations. If I got a message like that from my gf, her cheating would be the last thing I'd think was happening.
xoestefaniaxo 0
dont assume just yet...
Tarak_fml 7
it's always possible that she meant stayin at "his" referring to the husband of the girlfriend she is with
william_ruiz 0
why would she spend the night though? she's not the drunk one.. obviusly she's cheating..... she's a horible liar!
Hunter148Cassie 0
He could be gay?
Sadira1 0
shoulda just said she can just stay at our house for tonight, and ur wife can take her home in the morning.
duckie227 22
#31 you are the uber douche. oh yeah, I went there, now what?