Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
lexiBRo 0
Well.. that sucks, esp. for his g/f, but can you really expect anything out of a guy you are just casually sleeping with???
fuckitfuckitfuck 0
saw that coming halfway through the first sentence. it was probably the fact that you referred to him as the guy you've been sleeping with, as opposed to your boyfriend. this isn't an FML. this is a "I can't believe it took you that long to figure it out."
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Comments (90)
quackquackquac 0
That sucks. :(
nonotme 0
If you were trying to have a real relationship instead of ******* this might not have happened. YDI for being a ****.
famas48 0
MAN YOU ARE ****!!!!
Phillay632 0
That doesn't really suck, because she deserved it. If you notice, the OP opens her FML with "the guy I've been sleeping with" rather than "the guy I've been dating", which infers that it was just casual sex and not an actual monogamous relationship. If she is sleeping with a guy who she is not dating, then she totally deserved that for expecting too much from a booty call.
boredperson 0
agreed, here is a song i wrote about you "shes a super ****, super ****, she is super SLUTTY"
killerviral 0
he must of been hammerd and thought u were a friend so he was going to call u
PatRme 9
****
davizv 0
it sucks, yea, but she said sleeping with not boyfriend. not as big of a deal. but still sucks
perryscherry 0
I guess now you dont have to ask where the relationship is going..... sorry OP, FYL indeed.
SaintJimmy 0
If he was that drunk he might've meant you.
spoo 24
that't what I was thinking... I would have waited to see if they dialed my #
emorockerownage 9
thats what i was thinking
Dalarsco 0
My thought exactly. If he's that drunk then he might have not known who was taking care of him. All of you saying it's YDI for having casual sex need to stop being such self aggrandizing prudes. It's OK for people to have differing views on sex. You might need a full committed relationship, but casual sex is just as valid for the people who like it.
schwelty 0
You're exactly right, but deciding to casually have sex means you understand that you are not attached whatsoever. People have no right to bitch that their **** buddy ****** someone else.
Giselle468 0
Are you a an idiot or something? She's not jeolous that he's ******* another woman. She's pissed that he didn't tell her that he was seeing someone. That firmly plants her in the other woman category. I'm pretty sure that she's not so happy about that.
boundforglorywt 0
cool story
lexiBRo 0
Well.. that sucks, esp. for his g/f, but can you really expect anything out of a guy you are just casually sleeping with???
DuhthatsObvious 0
I feel so bad for his girlfriend, I can't believe you expected any respect for this guy anyway, when you guys have been having meaningless sex for 3 weeks. Maybe you should wait to be in a relationship with a guy before opening your legs, tramp!
girandwogpig 0
Whoa whoa whoa whoa....stop it.....stop it..
123sploosh 0
every guy does that. if a girl does that, it doesnt make her a tramp. shes not a tramp hes a tramp
Sipos 0
Stop being such a dick. What's up with calling girls ***** or tramps because thye have casual sex? It sucks that guys do it and it's cool but girls do it and it makes them a ****.
DuhthatsObvious 0
I'm a girl, and I feel the same towards men. I have no pity for 'the other' women getting hurt. They bring it upon themselves.
wolfgold2 20
"A key that opens many doors is very valuable, but a door that is opened by many keys is worthless"
lusitania_fml 11
No one is worthless.
Colleennn1579 0
Dump that ********
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
theyre not dating, she waa having casual sex with him:P
JustCallMeCloud 0
What were you expecting? You were having casual sex with the guy.
kittykatt 0
What do you expect from a guy you're just sleeping with? You obviously weren't looking for a relationship. YDI for being a ****.
fuckitfuckitfuck 0
saw that coming halfway through the first sentence. it was probably the fact that you referred to him as the guy you've been sleeping with, as opposed to your boyfriend. this isn't an FML. this is a "I can't believe it took you that long to figure it out."