Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML
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Top comments
UnderstoodCat 0
Perverted people...
iLazy 0
Hide YO kids hide yo wife
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Comments (144)
UnderstoodCat 0
Perverted people...
UnderstoodCat 0
Now let the replies that aren't actually replying to my comment begin.
UnderstoodCat 0
Now let the replies that aren't actually replying begin
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
what the **** do u mean?
eminemchick 19
i think they wanted to join..
BossDavyy 0
He's right, I don't need to "reply" to his comment. So I'll just comment in general: Cats are furry.
ienjoithinqs 0
she ruined the making of a homemade **** I could've used in the future -_- FML
iSitt 0
at least you know they didn't have hidden cameras
ScaughtieHolden 11
16, SpongeBob can't smoke underwater.
andycmkennedy 0
why not? he can light fires underwater!
baseball6917 8
should've invited them in.
sxe_beast 11
WTF are you talking 33? All sorts of impossible things happen underwater on Spongebob. Also Spongebob is a homosexual.
PurpleRae420 0
DAAAAMN how hot and heavy were y'all lol
Mitcha857 0
39 how can a sponge be gay???
TylersMB 0
well dont blame them, you left them open. lol must have been something interesting to watch.
FunnyGuy5051 7
33 I think he could use Sandy's dome as a bong or something
sxe_beast 11
@48 - How do most of the things on that show happen? How is a sponge being gay any less possible than a sponge being able to articulate words and have human-like intelligence?
chino627 0
door bell rings: I'm here for the gangbang
NiqueKristan92 0
Comment moderated
ahole123 0
52 Well first of all it's Spongebob...
Monikabug 9
Are you guys seriously arguing over a CARTOON right now? It's a /fictional/ show with /fictional/ characters that branches from nothing but someone's imagination. So, yes, ANYTHING is possible like lighting fires underwater and a squirrel living on the bottom of the ocean. However, I highly doubt that Nickelodeon would allow the creators of Spongebob to show him performing illegal acts on it. Now stop arguing over a child's show for Sirin's sake.
freelove_fml 2
What is perverted about enjoying watching sex?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Voyeurism FTW!!!
princessRiRi97 0
One of the perks of working at a motel.... free **** all the time LIVE!
zendaddy0 0
house keeping? NO I get involved? maby
yohooooooo 5
we got some bed intruders..
luvppl 6
so hide yo nuts, hide yo ******, hide yo s
luvppl 6
*boobies, not s lol
ahhhFYL 0
I guess you have to return the favor..
DrJesse 10
did you at least charge admission?
malkowski 0
I wouldn't have shut the curtains lol
joelmota 0
yea buddy
summerbaybay 0
...
Kazze 31
WE'VE GOT A LIVE ONE!
iLazy 0
Hide YO kids hide yo wife
whosechairisthat 0
win for u thanks fur makin me smile
A7X_LoVeee 10
What about yo husbands?
DalekScythe 0
hide yo kids hide yo wife hide yo kids hide yo wife, and hide your husbands cuz he's rapin everybody out there! XD
maz255 10
its e"rrrbody out here" :)
bloodycherries_fml 3
shoulda done it beforehand
poohforMVP 4
well no shit
EmreArslan 11
Captain *******.obvious strikes again! You sir deserve a medal for ur bright mind and cleverness! Here, have my underwear!
luvppl 6
lol always check before you begin because creepy eyes through the window kind of ruin the mood
nananabatmannnn 0
Take it as a compliment! that means they think you're good looking people. I mean, who'd want to watch unattractive people bang?
geeksaresexy 18
Anyone who watches cheap ****.. Those people are pretty ugly..
SeerePetrova 0
that would be the kind of perverts and gross people...
juliemarbles 0
Spoken like someone who watches people bang on a regular basis...
Takaska 0
I saw your profile picture, and read your comment in Russell Brand's voice XD
EffinTrollFace 0
I hope you realise that's how majority of couple horroh films start.
dudeitsdanny 10
That's also how the majority of Hotel Erotica movies start. Not that I would know, I'm more of a Cleavagefield dude.
larry12693 1
majority of couple?? really??
dudeitsdanny 10
What part of that didn't make sense? If you're gonna point out something, how about "horroh?"
larry12693 1
r u serious?? y say majority of couple... first off there is no majority of a couple and secondly use only majority or couple....
maz255 10
99- are,you,why....idiot
dudeitsdanny 10
I hope you're a troll.. Otherwise, you'd be an absolute moron..
Bree193 1
You are an idiot.
Trent_21 6
give them a show. cross that that off your list.
moneyindabank 0
hell yeah. I'd love for people to watch me ****. I go hard ;)
DjeePee 25
I once was making out with my boyfriend half-naked in a hotel room when a maid used her key to unlock the door and walk in. Awkward situation.