Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
hmm people make typos?
three3_fml 2
Your wife is getting ******,
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Comments (259)
sharmote 0
gps is your friend. just sayin'
perdix 31
If he's any good, she won't be calling you in the morning. She'll be too busy making him a pipe and "les sammiches!"
InsaneGenius 0
"I'll be staying at his place" was a typo. That's the part of the text where she forgot her lie for a second and typed the truth. She was trying to lie and tell him she was staying with a girlfriend, but didn't reread before she sent the message.
miss_cougar 0
Agree !
carlitto_fml 0
ydi
turdontoast 8
if she has an iPhone, that would explain everything. damn autocorrect gets me all the time.
kitzstiz 0
I hear ya mines says the most stupid things. and I always forget to check before I send
ieatbebies 0
just change the setting in the keyboard thingy in general see! gkcjzjznslcmx znjzk. nbn
bluepheonix 0
I agree you should call her. Don't rule out the possible typo. but if her girlfriends were single themselves thats a red flag. Especially if they don't like you.
Bobbert9 0
say ur going out with some guy friends and do the same thing
Texass2224 0
she's cheating on you.
nancyfantastic 3
Most likely she was trying to cover up her cheating by saying her female friend was drunk, but ultimately failed when she typed his, on a qwerty key board the I an E are on opposite side of the keyboard and if she has a reg. phone the I and E are definitely NOT on the same button. Take a key from English class and always proof read before sending. sorry for your luck OP
william818 0
I have to agree with 61. she thought she tricked by saying her girlfriends. but then didn't think before typing the rest of the message. then again... she said that one of her friends ("she") was drunk and that she would be staying at "his" house. so either her friend is a he/she or it's a typo.
sailorguy 2
Now you get to sleep with anyone you want. What a golden opportunity!