Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
OrganicSistah 17
You ****** the shit out of her.
PuppiesKisses 19
She should have taken a pre game dump.
imbedderdenu 23
omg that's terrible for both of you. She's probably embarrassing as hell for her! Poor girl. it's awful for you too. :/ I hope it doesn't discourage you guys from going for it again!
SargeRho 6
Yes, actually, it *is* mostly urine.
talicaroxi 25
FYI during a female ****** the walls will tense repeatedly then relax then tense. with that said there is almost a pushing presume element to it during an intense organ it is very possible for it to release more than cum.
leaannec30 18
i first want to say im so sorry this happened to you..secondly, want to apologize for laughing uncontrollably when i read this.
zskullkrusherz 1
That's awesome, no fml about that.
mundo2669 1
you literally ****** the shit out of her
lv2drum 7
Yeah it's gross, and I'm sure she is far more embarrassed/mortified than you could ever be right now, but personally I'd totally take that as a compliment.
Badkarma4u 17
Ive heard people say that but. 1. its clear 2. its sweet not salty. 3. A woman squirted in her hand then right afterwards went to the bathroom and peed. The smell and color were totaly different within 5 minites