Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
Tikmysta 20
Wrong hole?
cinderbelle 5
not an FML, it happens and is embarrassing but hilarious to look back on.
dianer7 12
Well, they don't call it the "shocker" for nothing.
allplayedout 20
Your poor girlfriend. I hope you've been reassuring since so she's not put off forever...going her whole life without an ****** and then this? Double trauma.
Xamry14 10
Go easy on her. Being a female is hard since anatomy isn't really on our side. Especially if anal was involved. Please don't be a jerk and make a huge deal about it. That would be embarrassing enough on its own.
cristinita83_fml 3
73, insulting for no reason is really rude
loubabe69 19
Poor girl, the best and worst thing that could happen all at once.
pedinhuh 23
Actually, if your bladder has some urine in it, it will be expelled along with the other liquid when you squirt...
Xion0014 20
Well the sphincter contracts during an ******...
JjfireballZ 14
Winner winner shittin' dinner