Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
WinterChild 20
Are you sure the moaning wasn't just because she was constipated and was finally getting it out?
cakefete2 31
You must have made her cum HARD. Congrats, OP. Do be sure to use bleach when you clean up. For life's bleachable moments, there's Clorox.
pedinhuh 23
I don't think bleach should do it...
ChadHelton 8
it's not good sex unless someone cries, passes out or pees... (And now possibly poops)
ColorOfSoul 19
Oh, somewhat I can tell you are definitely not the first guy.
pd2902 22
It's nothing to worry about dude, be proud you gave her something she's probably wanted for a while and she'll find it easier to control the more you do it :)
WolfsScar 15
well there's a good side.. and a back side
enginsteve 17
a dark side...
oiler 21
more of an FML for her, dont tell anyone about it as thats really embarassing
grogers311 20
Like, everyone on FML?
xxcutekatxx2 13
At least it's anonymous. Also it's an FML for both involved. From the comments this is not an unusual thing and I think that would make anyone feel better.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I don't see how you could drop that into a conversation casually, though.
isaak_sanchez 18
This needs a follow up
pjsr 33
This needs a wipe up
tin_cup 27
I'm with you on this one.
GeorgiaBea 28
And you decided posting about was a good idea why? That's prolly not something I would admit to people and if I was your girl, you would be dead.
lcuttie119 13
No one on here even knows who they are.. This probably happens more than you think. Just relax
mattrd_fml 31
Yeah because everyone here knows who this girl is.
ninety 25
None of us here may know who she is, but she'll still prolly be po'ed at him if/when she reads it.
Ichiya 29
Probably* I hate "prolly" if you can't spell a word don't use it.
BananEnigma 24
Get your head out of your ass, 49. That person seems to know how to spell just fine, and has excellent grammar as well. Where I'm from, we use "prolly" as more of a short form, in an attempt to be cute or funny. It has nothing to do with being able to spell the damn word itself.
lexred 30
And people say there are impossible things ...
xxmollyxx 25
I could swear I saw an FML recently about this from the girl's point of view but I can't find it now. Has it come to this for me, dreaming up FMLs?
HappyItalian 38
No, I feel the deja-vu too. It reminds me of the one of the girl that went on her boyfriend while they were cuddling in bed after Taco Bell, which was a recent FML (If that's the one you're thinking about).
xxmollyxx 25
No this was someone who had started taking new meds that might cause stomach upset, and made her poop herself as she had an ****** with her boyfriend. I'm hoping I haven't gone nuts and that it did exist but was removed for whatever reason.