Today, in a moment reminiscent of Two and a Half Men, my divorce lawyer screwed me over and gave my soon-to-be-ex-wife 90% of everything. I now need to pay a new lawyer to fix what she screwed up. And yes, she was lashing out at me because my brother had sex with her then never called her back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML
Today, not only did my deadbeat brother mooch off me for six months, wreck my car, and screw my wife, he just successfully sued me for the medical bills he incurred when I caught them and beat him within an inch of his life. Twelve fucking grand in debt. I should have just stabbed him. FML
Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML
Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML
Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML
Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML
Today, I finished negotiating my divorce with my ex-wife who is a lawyer. I spent more on legal fees than she has made from working in any of the last 5 years. It's hard for a lawyer to make so little in Canada, I'm glad that law degree, which I paid for, saved her so much money in legal fees. I hate all lawyers. Scum. FML
Today, a judge gave my ex custody of my two sons, most of my money, my house, my car, and has ordered me to take anger management classes. We're getting a divorce because she shot me with a gun. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Uh, this has “malpractice lawsuit” written all over it. Hope their insurance is up to date.
Anderling 33
File an official complaint with whatever organization oversees lawyers' certification in your area, because they have behavioral standards she should have lived up to. Then immediately file a lawsuit against your ex-lawyer to get the money back that you paid her, because she absolutely does not deserve to profit from pulling this.
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Comments (4)
poopface82 25
Uh, this has “malpractice lawsuit” written all over it. Hope their insurance is up to date.
Anderling 33
File an official complaint with whatever organization oversees lawyers' certification in your area, because they have behavioral standards she should have lived up to. Then immediately file a lawsuit against your ex-lawyer to get the money back that you paid her, because she absolutely does not deserve to profit from pulling this.
RichardPencil 32
So, your brother understood that she's a "hit it and quit it" type of woman, but you didn't? Didn't your parents give you both "the talk?"
Lolamae 9
The problem with suing lawyers is that they’re all in the same club. Protecting their own comes before defending the client.