Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.
KiddNYC1O 22
She blew you alright.
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Comments (235)
the_enigma1019 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's... Disgusting. Return the favor
BulldogHoops 14
When she did it, it was an accident. If he was to do it, that would be very douchey of him.
xlord 27
Yes, because that makes it much less disgusting.....
the_enigma1019 1
Enough! Poor attempt of mine at humor, I apologize.
gc327072 31
Hey 9, about that FML the other day..... what happened after you found out it was your dad?
swagisforchumps 9
What?
BulldogHoops 14
25- I ate the asshole's cheeseburger, for one. But I had to drive him home and confiscate his shitty hobo clothes. Fortunately, the people hadn't given him anything more than 4 bucks and change. I swear, it's like I'm his parent. I gave the money to a homeless man later, we can hope that that one was for real.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Don't you think that's a little rude? Okay, yeah she farted in his face...but it wasn't like she purposely planned out to fart In his face, I'm sure she's embarrassed about it.
tsent8 15
83 that reminds me of a family guy episode where Peter was training meg to be more desirable to men. He locked himself in the car with her yelling embrace the gas! Because apparently guys like it when you love the gas.
geko911 22
That's magnificent! Return the flavor! It can also become your kinky sex ritual.
kyarush 10
Giggity
johnny_derp 3
I'm pretty sure this is worse for OP's girlfriend.
S182 15
9 - OP never said it was an accident, you just assume it was.
mrod5193 3
Definitely fart back, it'll show her that you can be embarrassed too...but don't let it get outta hand
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.
AshhyTheBlonde 8
That happened to me the first time I tried 69. But the guy farted. It was disgusting, but I went on.
SDTD10 5
It's probably more of an FML for your girlfriend than you
KiddNYC1O 22
Uhm, yeah? Edit: For 26
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Yuck! I've yet to fart or be farted on while doing the ol' 69. I don't think I would be able to go on, and I surely wouldn't be mad if the girl stopped either.
amandajlucas2015 2
Things happen during sex that are more than likely going to embarrass one partner if not both.. It's best not to make a big deal out of it and not to go post it on FML and embarrass ur partner further and try to act like an adult and move on with ur life
alycion 39
Would donning a gas mask before the next attempt be considered making a big deal or being prepared?
HouseElf 13
A gas mask would defeat the purpose.
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Scat **** anyone?
KiddNYC1O 22
No, thank you. ^
imavelociraptor 6
Girls don't fart... We burp from our anus...
botanistjessica 24
Thank you, 96. That sounds so much less disgusting. ...not.
HKCgrimmjow 15
You don't burp from your anus it's you blowing kisses :P... Yup can't keep a straight face with that one xD
BubbleGrunge 18
It's: Girls don't fart, they whisper in their panties.
HeartOfLead 24
@ # 127, I bet she was more like screaming angrily (with bad party breath).
honeycutt0998 5
-46- I would thumb up your comment multiple times it FML would let me!!
chickenwingz 5
Lol your likes are 69 :p the irony
andrew6p 19
Lmao! Damn! Bon appetit! Fyl op
MDTeddy 13
Some girls can turn people on just by farting. Idk. Unless it smells bad then it is ok.
scooprsteen 5
some people maybe....not this dude
botanistjessica 24
Do you know that from experience, 202?
DrumMajor 5
And don't forget the occasional vomiting into the panties... Or is that just me?
amphetamin3 17
Ew, what a foul image that put in my head.
pickmikk 12
Girls don't fart. We fluff. .-.
xlord 27
sometimes some things are best left to the imagination.
xlord 27
I meant trying out the position 69.
ydi_4_suking 20
So you wouldn't want to try a 69?
decidedlyvague 11
You sir, are not an adventurous person.
xlord 27
call me old fashion but I'm not much on having someone's asshole in my nose but I still enjoy a good sex swing filled orgy every once in a while.
Grimmerie 31
You sound like a virgin.
boots73 2
I can't say I've ever had someone's asshole in my nose while 69ing. The only way I could see your nose in an asshole is if you were to have a guy on top of you and you had his balls in your mouth. Just saying...
ShyAnn29 15
I don't think I'd like to 69
Stealthgasm 5
173- I can see where your username comes from then haha
BulldogHoops 14
It's an unfortunate first attempt, but I can assure you that it's a good idea to keep trying.
unknown_user5566 27
My thoughts exactly. No matter what you do sexually, you're probably going to have an embarassing moment at some point that might kill the mood. Practice makes perfect. :)
Marrach 7
If nobody's perfect, then why do they say "practice makes perfect"? Just saying..
unknown_user5566 27
It's just a saying that's meant to imply that practice will make you better at things. Are you really such a pessimist that you find it necessary to hate on a perfectly innocent phrase?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Marrach - I seriously hope that one day, soon preferably, you will grow out of your current obnoxious attitude. Unfortunately, I don't think that shall happen.
scr_sensei 14
oh well. practice makes perfect.
S182 15
135 - obviously no one has ever practiced enough....
desoto96 9
I don't know what to say, other than my condolences OP.
sirpantselot 22
If that's the only thing you can think of saying, it would be better not to have said anything.
Codezlol 21
Holy shit 5 the guys gf farted it's not like someone died.
RaggleFrock 13
His erection died.
pradip 26
I dunno what to do, but thumb you down.
Yellow_Fish79 11
Aww poor her, that was probably really embarassing.
AshhyTheBlonde 8
Yeah I bet!
lilhellian 27
Yeah I bet that comment sucked.
AshhyTheBlonde 8
Yeah, I bet you should shut the **** up!
newbiehere99 6
Was it a silent fart or a loud ??... Cause she might of thought you wouldn't hear it, but the silent farts are deadly !!
jweezy89 4
Poor her? This guy gets a face full of stink and you say poor her?! Her embarrassment is nothing compared to having a fart blasted into your brain.
Yodaevil 4
At least it wasn't a shart...
KiddNYC1O 22
She blew you alright.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Ha! 69 .
Shadowvoid 33
Blew him away.
Inheritance 10
At least it was not a queef.
Shadowvoid 33
Why is that? ^
selahsmithereens 1
Yeah 97 because escaping air is so much worse than methane coming out of an asshole.
Inheritance 10
101 is more of the thought, I mean just hearing a ****** farting..
tsent8 15
Imagine a penis farting! Is it possible? I mean seriously if anyone who happens to read this who has a degree please comment I want to know.
KiddNYC1O 22
107- It'll be like the most silent of assassins...
379_fml 11
107 - What sound does it make when you cum after jacking off....? Exactly. You could get a syringe full of air, insert needle in tip, inject air and see what happens. After you try that post results as fml please. This is important research
pradip 26
God! What's happening with the comments above me.
KatjaM 15
A woman's flatulence is truly flabber gas sting.
elletex 8
...no.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
No, you say?!
riseagainstbabyy 4
Humor fail.
decidedlyvague 11
Flabby gassing.
KiddNYC1O 22
You're all high on farts. =P
RedPillSucks 33
well damn, I thought it was funny.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Well now, that stinks.
CuriousAlien 7
As some people said, don't make a big deal out of it. Also treasure the fart, because it might be the last time you ever hear a woman fart!
thatpeachyperson 12
'Feel' might be the correct verb here.