Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
the_real_dvd 21
You made her cum and go at the same time
anthony99 14
Everyone knows girls don't poop
ladycoco8 20
Most definitely not urine lol. Trust us.
tomvertigo 17
Shit happens.
tgranatire_12 19
Thats a win-win in my eyes
anarchymaniac 22
That is so nasty
Emmy0806 6
That is disgusting. What is wrong with her
allplayedout 20
Some drunk lunatic of a god designed her excretory and reproductive systems to share a building with very thin walls. Just like it did to everyone else
Xamry14 10
Your disgusting. Your attitude at least. The female anatomy sucks. Then again you probably don't have much experience with it.
anarchymaniac 22
She's probably really embarrassed.
ericp96 10
I guess you could say you literally f#€*£d the $#!+ outta her
HotFrosty 14
Way to go! That... Um... All I can say is Wow!