Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
dutchy86 20
oh well wear a rain jacked and handgloves next time.... and enjoy! ...although its a bit of an asshole move to put it on FML...
lvg_fml 10
Some guys like that. Lol. She's probably super embarrassed
shortcake18 15
At least you know she was relaxed
corky1992 33
That's disgusting
Xamry14 10
It happens. Sex itself is pretty disgusting when you think about it all.
beeferjay 34
just say no to taco bell!!! I can get diarrhea by myself, without paying for it.
Talis99 26
Jeez, people, grow up. Yes, it's kinda gross, but your fun bits are stashed down there with your excretory bits (and for guys, only a pipe difference) and the muscles used are the same/similar. She's probably really embarrassed, but stuff like this happens. Be adults.
Talis99 26
That's mostly urine, by the way.
yogibear208 8
Hush there lil one your next .
andrmac 25
You should be a plumber you unclogged both pipes with one snake.
smallandroid 26
No, it's not. Even though it comes from that hole it's still a different substance.