Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
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Top comments
TweetAnne 13
What an electrifying moment.
pd2902 22
Talk about there being sparks in a relationship
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Comments (94)
TweetAnne 13
What an electrifying moment.
bwinski 19
Ya, it seems that these two really have that spark that is necessary for a good relationship... edit: I didn't see #4's comment until now. I thought I was clever first :(
patwo8 14
That's a shockingly good bj lol
cebsvt 14
It was a hj not a bj.
ThatTennisKid14 13
I can only imagine how bad that hurt...
pd2902 22
Talk about there being sparks in a relationship
MasterTron 24
It lives! Frankenstein anyone?
tj4234 36
Oh MasterTron, that is so 1818...
NutellaCongress 10
I hope he wasn't planning on having kids. FHL
Tripartita 45
Why? This is how superheroes are made!
pjsr 33
Omgosh, I wish this was an answer instead of a comment. It should be number one.
shay_serendipity 29
Now I wonder what powers one would get from getting their dick shocked.
Tripartita 45
Don your fuzziest pair of socks and prepare to change somebody's life!
andits 21
I can magine the shocking look on his face
COURT_KING 14
*instert electric ******* pun*
Kieranr10 23
Hand job not ********
JustShootMeFML 32
Shockingly it wasn't as good as you had hoped and planned it to be.
Rawrshi 25
Serious question... did his pubes stick up afterwards? Asking for a friend.
NotASquirrel 19
"Friend"
MrPotatoFace 9
"asking"
buckdharma 38
Maybe his penis will just keep going, and going...
TrippingOnAcid 29
Like a Duracell battery?
KBear3109 29
I'm pretty sure it's Energizer...
Shadowpartner 11
Pfft, you guys are forgetting Alkaline....