Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Damn you must be the shit!
BellaP13 24
It happens. Basically everything tights and then loosens. Don't worry about it she's probably as embarrassed as you
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Comments (154)
kirbsyeahbabe 8
Maybe that's why no one else tried to give her an ******. ?
SecundusSecunda 27
Her ****** was as strong as..... JOHN CENAAAAAAAA!
Elban 20
I've had girls get the shakes, tears of joy and some other stuff but no spontaneous poops. I got step up my game. What's your secret bro?
Diablitos 11
You literally ****** the shit out of her. Congrats :)
TexasGirl24 15
I giggled like I was in first grade when I read this...
Jason89 16
just be thankful it wasn't the squirts lol
townailz 16
He literally ****** the shit out of her
rabbi1010 29
this comment was already posted but still funny.
worldclassrager 41
Everything has a positive and negative response...
a816090 27
She's probably just as embarrassed or more so than you are about it. At least this can be something you guys can laugh about after time heals the situation. These things happen; just reassure her and make her feel okay about it.
sexybeastxxx 9
That must be pretty shitty :/
HollyQuinn 21
Eww... Good job? But seriously, I'm sure she feels super awkward about it. I know I would. Hope you're being nice about it :)