Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TAHK 11
If my friends said something like that to my wife, I would punch them in their faces.
liftedyoda 5
Well do you charge?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
liftedyoda 5
Well do you charge?
AboveAll04 14
of course not...that would make her a ***** ! so she doesn't charge ;)
fieldhockeygal97 19
Unless she also has milkshakes that being boys to the yard.
soccerstar1996 18
Yes, but you have to remember to plan your visit in accordance with blackout dates. Certain other restrictions may apply. They are not responsible for any injuries, drownings, or STD's that you may acquire. **** responsibly
fieldhockeygal97 19
*brings
Soniye 14
So is it buy a day get the whole year free type of deal? ;)
ThePK 5
Do I get half price admission with a can of coke?
wHSKitty 11
“Damn right, they’re better than yours.” Lmao
_DudeGuy_ 16
Out of curiosity, how did his friends find out about the nickname?
sammyjanette 17
I'm going to make an outrageous guess, and say that the boyfriend told them...
andy1500726 19
dumbass
graffitied_love 20
The better question for OP is how they got the nickname
KiddoKS 19
30, Maybe she's a squirter.
tatsumahyuu 5
*facedesk** -_-
mfmylifesrsly 30
@2 Have you never had a girlfriend? It's normal for guys AND girls to talk about their sex life with their close friends. Also OP, at least he didn't show them a video of y'all and his friends mimicked the sounds you made..
mfmylifesrsly 30
@30 I'll give you a hint, when a female is aroused her ****** produces secretions resulting in a wet pussy....it's not rocket science.
mfmylifesrsly 30
**** I mistook OP's ******'s name as "ride n slide", not Roseland. Here comes the thumbs down....
sparky1970 2
Some people need a lesson in the biology of the opposite sex. To elaborate, some women excrete a little more but that doesn't mean he should be sharing it with his friends.
TAHK 11
If my friends said something like that to my wife, I would punch them in their faces.
twinkiefeets 17
He shouldn't have told them something so private. What do you expect.
finalfantasyftw 10
I think a punch from you would hurt.
VancouverGuy89 9
What's the name of the water park?
AboveAll04 14
hmmm wild guess...Roseland ?
eminoodlerocks 7
I bet its Wet n' wild
Batterypost 23
Yep. seeing as OP's name is "roseland", her location is New York and a quick google search showed me that there is a Roseland Waterpark located in New York, I think roseland is a pretty safe assumption to make.
joshua1615 8
At least its not the same water park near me, Blue Bayou.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
There's a camel beach by me. And a little below that is Hershey Park. Haha.
clumsycarolyn 17
Name his penis an equally embarrassing name and tell your friends... Maybe he'll stop out of embarrassment
jessBeAqueen 13
lets go with the lazy river!
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Shortfuse?
olpally 33
Welcome to "smallville" haha. No? Okay.
jessBeAqueen 13
"its a small world" ?
SirBreaksalot 9
Log Flume.
TweetAnne 13
Your boyfriend is a douche bag. His friends shouldn't know what your ******'s nickname is. Next time he wants sex charge him, or say sorry this ride is closed for the season. That ought to shut his ass up.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
If she charges, then she's a hooker. I really don't think she wants her boyfriend to spread that around too. Although, "closed for the season" sounds like a great reply. >:D
xplicitkontent 18
Until it backfires on OP and he visits another park that is open.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
In that case, OP should dump him, because that would make him a cheating asshole.
Nolimit2217 32
You're boyfriend has a sense of humor, you should be glad.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
It's fine in private, but he really shouldn't be spreading that shit around.
MissWhitneyB 17
Tell them way more than they can afford. Some people -_-
empbob 20
Yea, but she already lets her loser BF ride for free... I think he needs to start paying the same rate...
KiddoKS 19
Or you can tell them there's a minimum height requirement for the rides and your sure they're too "short".
KiddoKS 19
*you're Sorry for the brain fart
badgirl00069 19
I always use that line I've been approached several different ways on several different occasions (guys are pigs ) I always say I cost more then ull make in a life time don't u just wish u could afford it ;) Lmao
ragini95 16
New York... raging rivers or enchanted forest water safari?
AboveAll04 14
when you're on your period it will b renamed to the Red Sea !