Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Whole foods
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Top Chef
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
Top comments
Goblin182 27
If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.
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Comments (122)
stryder9090 28
What kind of fruit has a hard shell?
Yolomcswaggin420 17
An egg of course.
ohSNAPyall 27
Coconut.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Pomegranates, the outside is hard and the part you eat is the seeds. So actually a few fruits have a hard outer shell.
stryder9090 28
Coconut-yes. Pomegranate-not even close to an egg. It's very dense, but not hard like an egg shell
elektra2 16
Watermelon.
ShitNotAgainn 13
A coconut is a drupe not a fruit
luststarrr 22
Lychees do...
MonstreBelle 29
The botanical definition for nuts is a one-seeded fruit with a hard shell
alexanderavatar 24
Damn shes smart and old seniors tell us this generation is screwed
Tiri_fml 13
A drupe is a kind of fruit.
stryder9090 28
Again, watermelon also doesn't have the same type of hard shell as an egg. It has a rind, not a shell.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@stryder9090 - The question was not what kind of fruit is like an egg, the question was what kind of fruit has a hard outer shell. Pomegranates and Watermelon, do both have a hard (harder) outer part that you aren't really supposed to eat. Shell- 1. the hard protective outer case of a mollusk or crustacean. 2. something resembling or likened to a shell because of its shape or its function as an outer case. It is that second definition most of us are using, in case you are still confused.
stryder9090 28
"Resembling or likened" to a shell still doesn't sound like an actual shell. It's "like" a shell. Not a shell.
JBChristian 47
Dumbass.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.
vaguenotvogue 13
Don't let his daughter make you a fruit salad..
alexanderavatar 24
egg salads are not that bad
ExtremeEncounter 32
Seems reasonable.
rdenkewicz 11
There are so many things wrong with this answer. I wouldn't even know how to begin correcting her.
ExtremeEncounter 32
Maybe ask her what she thinks classifies as vegetables, and then work down from there.
chriss2015 13
#58 didn't you get the sarcasm?
disnerd4 14
I don't EGGspect a FRUITful future for her education. I'll see myself out.
riffehunter 16
why did you have to emphasize the pun? we all knew eggxactly what you meant.
alexanderavatar 24
just in case a person doesn't understand it quite really along with confusing eggs as fruits
alexanderavatar 24
whoops mistake quite a common mistake not quite really
disnerd4 14
We can't eggspect everyone to ;)
Yolomcswaggin420 17
That's the way the "egg" crumbles, I guess.
luststarrr 22
The saying is, 'That's the way the cookie crumbles.' Cookies aren't a fruit either (despite my fervent wishes).
Yolomcswaggin420 17
You must be a complete imbecile. It's a pun. Nobody gets it.
captaincarlz 17
But puns are supposed to be funny...and make sense.
Miss_Whipped 43
Well, they are supposed to make sense. Not all of them are funny.
PhinIt2WinIt 24
i think it would make sense if it was "that is how the egg is scrambled" or something better than that
andrmac 25
Well you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
olpally 33
Well, she's gonna learn today that isn't the case.
andreitaxx89 13
Logic and common sense is not something a lot of kids have nowadays...
chinaski7628 32
Kids have always been lacking in common sense and logic. It's kind of their thing. That's why we, as a society, decided they need school. It's the adults who are lacking common sense and logic that scare me :)
wobbly1 16
they just have better drugs then we had growing up.
aceking602 11
actually its your generation that thats at fault for not teaching children that stuff
itwasntme14 19
At least you taught her to be confident...good luck with the fruit and egg thing though.
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
Well, today we've learned that egg:fruit::tomato:vegetable.
smoothies14 32
Good grief. A tomato is a vegetable AND a fruit. Vegetable- an edible part of a plant. Fruit- the flowering part of a plant that is edible. ALL FRUITS ARE VEGATABLES. Eggs are considered dairy or meat.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That's not right. A fruit is a seed bearing structure developed in the ovary of a flowering plant. Vegetables are the other non-seed bearing parts developed outside of the ovary such as roots, leaves, and stems. So by no definition are all fruits considered vegetables.
EvilTurtle 35
So what I'm getting out of all of this is that ketchup is a smoothie?!
smoothies14 32
Dictionary.com: Vegetable #2: the edible part of such a plant, as the tuber of the potato. Fruit #3: the edible part of a plant developed from a flower, with any accessory tissues, as the peach, mulberry, or banana. By my cited definition all fruits are considered vegetables.
gracehi 33
smoothies14, I must say, I've never encountered anyone so passionate about the distinction (or lack thereof) between fruits and vegetables.
smallandroid 26
Dictionaries tend to have very simplified definitions, and don't include every bit of information and every fact gathered by scientists. The general population doesn't need to know all the little details of what makes a fruit a fruit and a vegetable a vegetable, so dictionary.com isn't going to put pages of information up when simple sentences can give you a general, but imprecise, idea.
Ichiya 29
Scientifically vegetables are the leaves, stems, or roots of a plant. A fruit is any nutrient packed fleshy part of the plant that carries and protects the seeds usually formed from the reproductive organs of the plant.
Richard6036 13
I Think they lost the whole idea of what the comment was originally made not lack of common sense for the misunderstanding of fruits and vegetables . But pure stupidity
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
Apparently many people don't understand analogies... You know, the things you learned in 5th grade. Written out, egg:fruit::tomato:vegetable means egg is to fruit as tomato is vegetable. And egg is not an egg as a tomato is not a vegetable.
freddygasman 18
To #57, an egg is an egg. Sorry, I just had to point that out. We all knew what you meant though, or I hope we all did other than I wouldn't expect the original poster's daughter to understand.
kandysnow 18
Don't do drugs, kids
Yolomcswaggin420 17
YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!!!!!!