Today, my uncle’s girlfriend’s paranoid jealousy hit a new low. I woke up to several nasty, threatening texts from her, accusing me of sleeping with my own uncle. According to her, no uncle and niece could possibly be as close as he and I are without something freaky going on. I really hate her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, my uncle stole my cousin's phone to take a picture of me. He then sent said picture to my cousin's boyfriend, saying that she'd been cheating on him with me for over a year. He's been cheated on before and is hysterical. My uncle then had the nerve to act all defensive when my cousin and I exploded at him. FML
Today, I found out that my fifty five year-old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend, saying ,"I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, my deranged coworker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was at his funeral. FML
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I have a girlfriend. Our moms are best friends. Our dads are best friends. Our younger siblings are best friends. Our grandparents have known each other for 70 years. I hate my girlfriend. I have hundreds of texts proving she’s a cheating whore, but I feel trapped by our families' happiness. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML
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Top comments
MandazInTC 33
Does your uncle know about this? This is just beyond wrong and weird to not break up.
TxKitten 8
I'd show him the texts. Then I'd also text her, "Do not text or contact me in any other manner again. If you continue to harass me I will file harassment charges." Then file charges of she doesn't stop. You can't legally claim harassment if you don't tell her to stop.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Now you should **** him just to spite her. And then you'll prove her right so she won't think she's crazy. Everybody wins!
MandazInTC 33
Does your uncle know about this? This is just beyond wrong and weird to not break up.
bloopaloop 27
Invite her to a threesome and she won’t feel so left out!
RichardPencil 32
There goes that interactive brain!
TxKitten 8
I'd show him the texts. Then I'd also text her, "Do not text or contact me in any other manner again. If you continue to harass me I will file harassment charges." Then file charges of she doesn't stop. You can't legally claim harassment if you don't tell her to stop.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Show your uncle.
tounces7 28
He met her in Alabama, right?
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
send your uncle a screenshot and follow with "can you tell that witch to drop my number"
Brightside86 31
Sounds like your uncle's girlfriends gone through some troubles with infidelity. It's easy for people to learn the wrong lessons from those experiences. I hope you can work things out.