Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
chaseafterwind82 29
Well, if you don't get dumped, (and you very likely WILL) you can at least lose the condoms for as long as you're with her. Gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face; Brush off the clouds and cheer up, Put on a happy face!
ShyVi 18
Condoms still seem necessary because doctors aren't always right. Many women were told that they couldn't get pregnant, but they ended up having children of their own. Condoms also protect against the spread of STDs. Your comment is invalid.
donuts678 25
YDI for being so insensitive
Manic1 13
You are an ass!
9a_1z 12
I hope your girlfriend has some awesome friends who genuinely care about how her expectations for her life have been turned upside down, and whether the problem she has will cause her pain or discomfort. Because she sure has shitty boyfriend.
amileah13 26
I think it's devastating that some women could never get pregnant. Serves her right to give you the silent treatment, you deserve it jerk.
THEDUDE1553566 24
I feel horrible for her. Damn idk what to vote on this so I chose both. FML because your girlfriend is infertile and YDI for getting happy about it
channelmonica 17
You definitely deserved it and more. Inconsiderate OP, that's devastating.
KingOfTheLosers 7
5 hours? 5 days is my record. I may have deserved that, but you certainly do.
noellebelle626 19
I would be giving the same treatment if I was her...
opiate_ape 10
You're an arsehole