Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML
Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML
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Top comments
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Don't worry, she probably just uses that excuse on guys a lot and has been accustomed to do that after being asked out
xxrogerthatxx 19
I think I would've rather read "FIRST".
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Comments (114)
jack_jill05 14
you don't sound very gay. (happy)
xxrogerthatxx 19
I think I would've rather read "FIRST".
mannatee 19
Laaaaame
jack_jill05 14
im not a particularly 'punny' person & that was my attempt, so back off okay? thanks
Googolman 29
If you're not a particularly 'punny' person then don't try to come up with puns.
urdirtyolduncle 15
People can be so mean here
Llama_Face89 34
That was pretty weak. :
spatula232 25
I liked it. Maybe I'm just weird lol
Adamfuzzyballs 7
"...so back off, okay?" Wow, that's GOTTA hurt!
cryssycakesx3 23
any reason punny is in apostrophes?
HanBroman 20
she was making a second poor attempt at a pun; since "punny" sounds like "funny". extrodinarily unoriginal
martin8337 36
# 1, not a bad double entendre, I personally liked that pun.
RachaelAnna92 3
that's just offensive. I'm gay(lesbian) and you pretty much just made yourself look like an ass!
jack_jill05 14
first, let me start out by saying that i fully believe, support, and respect gay rights, but people are so damn ignorant. my "so back off, okay?" was not intended for anything, except to ask you to back off. my "punny" was never meant to be orginal. I dont credit for it, for that would mean I was good at puns. & the orginal comment has (happy) In parentheses as to get my point across. but obviously that didn't happen. but whatever. you can say whatever you want, ill just say whatever I want back.
little_aliceee 17
I thought #1 pun was pretty amusing. I chuckled when I read it.
Honema 16
Maybe people just don't know gay is a homonym (no pun intended)... I mean, this actually wasn't offensive at all O.o
Phoebe18 14
I think the reason you got so many down votes may be because you felt the need to explain your pun. Although I could be wrong but my guess is that. Good puns don't need explaining
xxrogerthatxx 19
Maybe it wasn't offensive, it's still not funny. If it wasn't meant to be funny, then it's just a wack first comment, regardless of the homonym. You get thumbs down from me either way
kaytasha 18
Take a chill pill people and get a sense of humor while you are at it!
saraitkddh 47
This is why I hate commenting on the internet and especially on FML. Most of the users are always mean ( yeah, probably I am going to get attacked and down voted because of that ) and would attack anyone who they don't even understand what they mean. People nowadays think being mean makes them cool ( feeling disgusted ) and this is one of the reasons of why I chose to never miss a chance to shut up in life! Btw, your pun was awesome :)
Mateo33 1
Jack Jill 05. You're an ugly ass ****.
saraitkddh 47
WOW! Thanks :D it is just that sometimes people can really hurt so much, but sorry I didn't mean to overreact.
randome101 12
Using the word gay, as in happy, is offensive, and makes you look like an ass? Yeah well good luck with that since it's not offensive at all... Please never comment again
TCRII 30
WARNING. The following might be boring. When someone is trying to make a pun, they are often taking advantaqge of a word with dual meanings - in this case "gay". The meaning of words changes over time and we should try to remember this. When I was a kid, I read a book where the lead character was told to go get some "faggots" for the fire. That sounds very offensive today, but at the time the book was written, faggots were small pieces of wood used to start fires. If you want to see the history of words and how the meanings change over time, look something up in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Googolman 29
53 - You do realize that 'apostrophes' are actually a variation of quotation marks, generally used in British English?
d100100 3
That pun ain't got gayme
Jtisallbusiness 5
Way to be kid
danya9901 3
Well considering "back off... Okay?" Isn't an insult, i'm gonna go with it didn't hurt at all. You ******* idiot
danya9901 3
Lol are you kidding? Wake up and smell the roses. People are extremely rude and mean on this site all the time. Pull your heads outta your asses
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Don't worry, she probably just uses that excuse on guys a lot and has been accustomed to do that after being asked out
StupidMonkey497 16
Reread the FML
iwadasn 33
Reread the comment. She's probably so used to using that excuse when guys ask her out that she automatically used it when a girl asked her out.
jim10 4
That is cruel, sorry OP
Iwannabetreo 11
It isn't really cruel if she honestly didn't know that OP is a girl.
JonDG 12
i think they said it was cruel cuz they werent being honest.
mattlikesfunions 22
Maybe she's not into butch lesbians
mackdeezy 22
Think the username says so
kewpiesuicide 29
People would constantly call my ex 'sir' and she does pretty well with the ladies. Find someone who likes you for who you are ;)
kingcaper817 14
Ugh that bitch I'm so sorry
shiny_shipper 28
Rejecting someone doesn't automatically make them a bitch? Still, it was a bad excuse. I'm sorry about what happened, OP.
feven 32
She's probably just used to using that excuse. Don't take it to the heart.
Algorithm 24
So what'd she say after you told her you were a woman, OP?
AH1Zviper 15
Lesbiahonest here, that was pretty cruel.
IMSCARJOHANSSON 24
That was a perfect pun
Khaleesi_26 30
Honesty is a hard trait to find.
cryssycakesx3 23
but the girl never lied to OP…
iwadasn 33
If you're so butch that people can't even identify your gender, it's probably time to rethink your style.
foxwasalamb 24
why? why should she care what people think of her? if shes comfortable with herself and how she dresses, then why change?
sunnyray812 42
Why should she change her real self that she's comfortable with to something that pleases everyone else? It's her body and no one else's.
cryssycakesx3 23
maybe she likes being mistaken for a guy.
iwadasn 33
If she's so upset about getting mistaken for a guy that she's posting on fmylife about it, then clearly she isn't comfortable with it.