Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (322)
Talis99 26
Jeez, what a jerk. YDI. Even if you don't want kids, she can never have any. You should have been supportive of her heartbreaking news, especially since it seems obvious you never discussed this topic.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
She still with you? She must really love a butthead like you because if I learned I could never have children I would be devastated and would be hurt if somebody was happy about my pain. You deserve the silent treatment and more you insensitive bootyhole.
Astrobomb 21
that poor woman. you're an awful person. I would have left you.
pete9913 23
I started to click YDI, but really it was just an honest reaction. Good luck OP, this might take awhile.
thatonetribute 31
He doesn't deserve a girlfriend, and neither do you. We are not empty vessels for you to dump your sperm.
mum2one 5
Silent treatment? I'd be silently planning to dump your ass with that type of a response. When I was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant I cried for over a week.
lexiale 10
That's extremely hard on a girl, what if you were to marry her. you'd probably be upset when you wanted to have kids of your own.
cantfixme36 28
Wow, that's extremely harsh. Even if she doesn't want kids, it's a really difficult thing to hear that you can never have kids even if you change your mind. It's heartbreaking... Growing up a woman is growing up with the understanding we have the power to create life if we so choose, and having that taken away without us having a say in it is very difficult.
GamerG0DDESS 29
Personally, this would be amazing news, but I understand how tragic being infertile is for many people. Stop being a dick, apologize and sympathize for/with her.
rabbi1010 29
i would find this amazing news as well. would save me the trouble of getting my tubes tied. I dont want kids, and i have never wanted kids.
marcranger 29
I'd be having a party to celebrate for sure, though I do think OP should have kept his reaction private.
LibertyLife20 20
Imagine how she feels hearing that news. You need to sympathize a bit!
Catdragon 40
I would be happy to hear I was infertile, but some people like your girlfriend probably want kids. to them it's devastating. I would suggest adoption or a surrogate if she wants kids. but discuss it with her first and make sure it's what you both want. if she wants a kid, then perhaps reach a compromise?
GrapeJuice67 17
I think wanting children is kind of a make or break deal; If OP doesn't want kids and OPs gf does, kind of makes it hard to compromise.
Catdragon 40
but that's the thing. not enough people are willing to compromise. if you're planning to get married. you'll have years and years of making compromises. I know for some people it's a deal breaker. but if you're unwilling to compromise then your relationship will fail. in my opinion, too many people see relationships as something that can be thrown away like that if things aren't going as well as they want. they don't work hard enough to make it work. if op really loves his girlfriend, he'll make sacrifices for her sake. just as she should make sacrifices for him. kids are a big deal. but just because they don't agree now doesn't mean they should just throw it away. spend some time evaluating things and talk with her. then after a while or if you're strongly against the idea of ever having children then it might be a good thing to say goodbye. but if you're unsure, not ready and only slightly dislike the idea, then try and work it out. opinion may just not be ready to have kids, but that doesn't mean he's strongly against the idea. he may love his girlfriend so much, he'd rather have a kid than lose her. you don't have to have one just yet. the last thing she needs is to deal with a breakup after learning she can't have kids. support her in this time if you love her. op, would you rather have a kid later in the future or break up with your girlfriend? which is more important to you?
marcranger 29
But there's no way to compromise on the issue of children. The partner who doesn't want any at all is going to be miserable with even just one, and if they don't have kids, the one who did want them is going to feel permanently unfulfilled. Kids don't come with a return policy.
catherinecas 30
Hi, I'm a compromise kid and it really ******* sucks. My dad cheerfully admits that he never wanted me and let me tell you it's hell. The fact that I'm disabled makes it worse because he can tell my mom "I told you so" all the live long day. Kids are not something you should compromise on at all.