Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
deathgrips 17
How could it not occur to you that she would be devastated to hear that ...judging by her reaction it doesn't seem like she said beforehand that she would rather be infertile. You sound very selfish
HerMischief 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Moooooooooo!! "You're so selfish how dare you not want little money eating spawn when I do."
bandaidstations 28
↑ I bet this guy has the best luck with relationships.
Feklfekl2222 32
How would you have felt if you had been told you couldn't have kids and your girlfriend was overjoyed? Even if you don't want children now or ever there's still going to be a sense of failure or even worthlessness attached to something like that, and if you do want kids that's even more devastating
mezochan 29
Wow, FHL. You're kind of a dick.
SquirrelNutty 5
he sounds like a complete selfish bastard who deserved to be dumped.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
You may not want kids, but maybe she does. Be a little sympathetic.
ProximityToDeath 20
That's horrible! Not all girls want babies but you have no way of knowing if your girlfriend wanted any. Even if she didn't she could change her mind. But unless she adopts, she can never have kids or at least one of her own. That is heartbreaking and you shouldn't have gotten excited about that. Shame on you.
bapbap_fml 15
I wouldn't say that he had no way of knowing. If they had talked about it he would easily know. I assume it's probably pretty early in the relationship though and maybe it hasn't come up yet. Before I was married that was something I'd be bringing up pretty early on, no point wasting time if one of you wants kids and one of you doesn't.
marcranger 29
I know you've gotten down voted to hell, 63, but I get you. I know I'd be unable to stop myself from popping a bottle of champagne if I found out I couldn't have kids. Likewise, OP is probably relieved beyond measure that he won't have to worry about being a father, but since his girlfriend isn't quite on the same wavelength, he would've done well to keep that under wraps.
ProximityToDeath 20
You shouldn't take pleasure at someone else's pain. That is just sick.
Mauskau 36
Even if you don't want to have kids, finding out your body wouldn't let you have them even if you tried would make anyone feel like a failure in life. Breeding is part of human nature (hence why there are so many of us) and knowing nature is against you isn't going to be easy.
marcranger 29
217, you actually don't speak for all of humanity. The fact that there is some chance that I might be able to breed makes me feel like nature and biology have failed me. My desire not to have kids goes beyond a casual lack of interest.
iseebearbears 27
I feel like this doesn't have enough YDIs. You are a horrible person and should be ashamed of yourself.
JCX2 23
This totally deserves more YDIs. It's more a FHL for being infertile and fir having such an insensitive partner.
Ichiya 29
Its nice how 2-3 sentences gives you the whole situation and allows you to make snap judgements on the op. How do we know that the precieved excitement wasn't just the girlfriend's imagination fueled by grief? If he really did throw a party then yeah its a ydi if not then really its just a tragic situation.
Lalala579121 28
Well 191, he says he gets too excited right in the FML. Reading is fun, isn't it?
greeneyedx 23
We know it wasn't the girlfriends grief warping her view because this FML is from the GUYS POV.
WOTAN1488 24
YDI.
alkoy 4
what is wrong with people? he clearly deserved that...
KaidensCrow 18
that was rather cruel
toomanyidiots 14
Speaking as someone who doesn't even want to ever have kids, I would be really hurt if my SO got excited over my inability to have children. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if someone did want kids in the future. That's just cruel. YDI.