Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
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Top comments
Palirose 22
You should have came out and said, "with that attitude it makes me wonder how you still have patients coming to see you" then promptly left.
HeyArnold91 8
Should have replied "No complaints from my husband".
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Comments (114)
Palirose 22
You should have came out and said, "with that attitude it makes me wonder how you still have patients coming to see you" then promptly left.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
OP, what's going on in your ****** to make a doctor who sees plenty o' pussy say that?
nictransitglory 4
I cannot believe all the negative comments about this doctor. I HIGHLY doubt he said that out of the blue or it was related in ANY way to her vag. I bet she was one of those super annoying bitches that all of you at your jobs bitch about too! Everyone complains about customers in customer service, and a patient is just a doctors customer. Dr's are human too, and just because they make more than minimum wage doesn't mean they have to take shit from others.
bones_17 5
At least he didn't touch you inapropretly, or wait he did :/
FarSide 23
Let me guess... you are used to having sex with six guys in college? You pulled the entire train throughout your Senior Year? And the "Blue Waffle Special" chugs along.... just puffin' and blowin'...
gojira666 7
Sound it out 66
trollcrusher 17
66- Being as he is a gynecologist, I think it IS appropriate for him to touch her ******. You know, it's just kind of something that they do in their career.
pabst4america 1
Truth
MedKits 9
O69- well considering the doctor was talking to his assist, the assist was most likely in the room during the exam, so yeah. The assistant would also be privy to the patient's information.
wooboo608 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Poor gynecologist :(
mario2012 18
Reread the FML.
wooboo608 1
Pretty sure I got it. The gynecologist was so shocked by op's bad hygiene (or some other similar problem) that he had to confide in his assistant for some emotional release. The gynecologist didn't mean to hurt op's feelings, so give him a break
mario2012 18
They shouldn't have said that in the first place. It's rude and unprofessional. Poor OP, not poor gynecologist.
ShyAnn29 15
The gynecologist could have been talking about someone else.
wooboo608 1
If you were going to the dentist for a checkup would you brush your teeth first?
siickman 7
Yea ofcourse you would brush before check up. That doesnt mean you will be perfectly clean in the mouth if you havent been keeping up on brushing. So the dentist should be professional and say the good things (if you have any to point out) and be honest that you can do better... Not question about how any body would like you from your horrible cleaned mouth.. Its rude.
Enslaved 38
Perhaps the doctor wasn't complaining about the OP's hygiene but their attitude in general. Ex: my mother is a horrible patient and constantly complains that everything the doctor does-- hurts her before the doctor even touches her. None the less, that doctor still didn't have any rights talking about the OP or anyone else for that matter.
wooboo608 1
30- I like your analogy and I agree, that would be rude
agonydrum 7
Really so none of you have ever complained about anyone in your entire lives without that person around? Because if you have your a hypocrite that's all the doctor did he didn't mean to hurt ops feelings and he had no way of knowing the op could hear him
agonydrum 7
And If the op doesn't want people to complain she should wash herself once in awhile, she's probably the same woman from that fml about the nasty ***** left underneath the bed
makenna2011 6
wow, it must be bad if you consider how many he sees on a daily basis.
hama806 19
How dare he insult your floppy ******. Poor OP.
GigaPudding_fml 24
Perhaps he was talking about how ugly (he thinks) she is and not her ******.
myztwenty8 4
that pussy must stink like death
PetiteLady 4
All aboard the "Blue Waffle Express"... Seriously though OP, by chance, did you happen to pull a train of 6 while in your Senior Year at college?
Mideoyeo 12
Get back out there and tell him you can hear him..make him feel the shame OP, and then walk out without paying.
tobedd 13
OP is Canadian, so it was free to begin with.
desireev 18
In most doctors offices, you pay up-front and handle the insurance business before you see the doctor. So you may still be out of pocket on this one, OP. But you, definitely, should have let the doctor know you could hear him. And inform him that you'll be contacting the B.B.B. or some sort of higher authority to inform them of his unprofessionalism.
Bookie_Chick 2
Canadian Health Care is PUBLICLY funded!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Thank you. It's not free if SOMEONE is paying for it.
FarSide 23
You'll never convince Obama voters that it costs anything.
RedMosquito 4
She lives in Canada. Free health care
mega20913 8
I would love to know what about your ****** would make him wonder that
boating_guy 33
maybe OP just didn't keep it clean down there... I'm not trying to be offensive to OP saying her vag is nasty, but if you're wondering, you'd have to acknowledge the possibility...and it could be a very repulsive one at that
PetiteLady 4
Even the nastiest is still good.
HeyArnold91 8
Should have replied "No complaints from my husband".
SnipeFatPeople 6
Some doctors and dentists are complete douchebags to their customers...you obviously have one of them...
walmartpaysme 15
Doctors can be so arrogant. Once, I had a doctor give me a prescription and he asked what pharmacy I used. I told him and he said he would fax it over. I asked if I would be able to pick it up soon. His unhelpful response was," Well its not going to walk to your house."
joep1 7
^*Patients* sorry
RussianFox 13
13- Why even bother saying sorry in the first place? You're not sorry because if you were you wouldn't have bothered commenting in the first place.
drkate25 30
My dentist scolded me for 20 minutes about my tongue ring (which I normally take out for appts, but the hygienist said I could leave it) and how after a few years it starts damaging your teeth. I told him I'd had it for 7 years and he just stopped mid-sentence and said "oh, well you should still take it out, you're such a nice girl" Which made me feel like he was saying having it made me a *****!
PetiteLady 4
@7: What is obvious is that she does not have a douche bag.
Onmyzephyr 5
If you've had it for that long you should be over comments like that by now. Unless you do perceive yourself as a ***** because of the ring.
lies_ah 3
I agree.. what a waste of a comment. It clearly read well enough if we all knew what they meant!
Grimmerie 31
Next time take the bear traps out of your snatch.
Edialo 1
God! How did he become a doctor ?
DocBastard 40
There's at least one idiot in every class. Somehow they get in, get through, and then unleash their idiocy on humanity. Most of them go into emergency medicine in my experience. Yes, I hate ER docs.
Trix_Disorder 20
Intelligence and prudence/kindness are not mutually exclusive, unfortunately.
Trix_Disorder 20
I just double-checked to see if I was using "mutually exclusive" wrong. Thumb me down, I deserve it.
lolmigosh 15
that's just rude and unprofessional