Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
Delsanity 13
YDI. It's your gf and you should care more about her feelings rather than be thinking about sex only.
lunar999 23
What an unsympathetic ********
5FDPmetalhead 17
You should prepare to be single. That was harsh
kreesan 10
You're lucky it's only silent treatment .
FalloutScrolls 25
You deserve it, you insensitive prick! Even if you don't want children, that kind of news can be completely shattering. I sympathize with your girlfriend.
SuicideBoobies88 11
I'm pretty sure you're a horrible person.
beeferjay 34
good luck making up for that one...
Seabass_Chan 33
Learn some tact, why don't you? How do you think that would make your girlfriend feel? Even my aunt, who didn't want anymore children, was upset at having to get a hysterectomy. It's a sensitive issue for a lot of people.
LadyRae 3
As a female who did a happy dance when I found out I was sterile, I wouldn't fret too much. She'll either get over it, or you move on to greener pastures.
Keiraquarium 12
Well, amazingly, not everybody is the same as you. I'd be absolutely gut-wrenched if I found out I could never get pregnant. Please have some sympathy.
corky1992 33
Not being able to have kids of your own isn't something you can "just get over" if it's something you've always wanted. For a majority of women this is life shattering news.
marcranger 29
Be careful just the same! I was taking a medicine for a long time that had side effects of possible subfertility, but I'm taking every form of birth control I can get my hands on (including abstinence) just in case.
greeneyedx 23
I wish I was sterile. I'd be okay to have kids maybe one day, but I don't ever want to be pregnant and birth a kid. I seriously am so against it for very personal reasons. A year and a half ago I had a pregnancy scare, and I told my boyfriend if I couldn't get an abortion I would kill myself. And honestly, it's 100% likely I would have done something harmful to myself to get it out. And yes, I do sympathise for people like OP's girlfriend. I wish I could give my fertility to them.
marcranger 29
It'd be nice if it were a transferable commodity, wouldn't it? I'd pay money to have someone take mine. :(
worldclassrager 41
What did you say?