Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
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Top comments
arcticdoctorwho 0
That sure would make a mother uncomfortable.
jizzwold 21
Damn it! Don't you hate when you accidentally thumb a comment up?
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Comments (151)
arcticdoctorwho 0
That sure would make a mother uncomfortable.
ZealIFeel 7
Find a large rock and crawl under it until you can think of a legitimate health concern to explain it all. If not possible, just remember eye contact never solved anything.
xlord 27
What I can't get over is that after seeing the site OP's mum still chose to have a 30 min conversation.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Yeah, why would she stay and talk for 30 minutes!? That is legit my worst nightmare (other than dying in a fiery plane crash, being stabbed to death while sleeping, getting butt raped, etc.) I can't even imagine how awkward that is for you. One time I closed a tab with **** on it but didn't close the browser..my dad got on it and used the browser..seeing in the 'recently closed' tab was 'pornhub'....I almost died.
howdmynosego 12
You think that's bad 41 I once walked into the living room wearing my boxer shorts. My dad noticed the stain that was still on em
rallets 23
CTRL + SHIFT + P
SystemofaBlink41 27
How can OP forget a **** site was on? Homepage?
KittyJay 3
Nah... My mom would have flip shit if I watched ****.... Edit... If she KNEW I watched ****.
rcbarnes 24
Plus serving is not necessarily a sign of national policy support.
erin1994 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Here's a tip... Don't watch ****. ;)
jizzwold 21
Damn it! Don't you hate when you accidentally thumb a comment up?
killtin 2
Damnit I thumbs downed 16.............psych
j_cat187 20
That is not a logical option.
AlexanderSilver 0
God dammit 16. I think reading your comment caused me to do exactly that.
DoubleDose 0
Here's a tip, don't give tips
hotPinklipstick 24
Here's a tip, don't play leap frog with a unicorn.
rexgar2000 10
49 I love that heart, looks really good on you.
not_a_Boss 1
GTFO the internet
iamyourgod 3
Here's a tip. Watch **** like every other person with Internet.
False_Stupidity 42
#79 Pssh, I have internet but I don't watch ****... anymore... I gave it up when I started getting the real deal ;)
chelseaaababyyy 17
you're crazy, porns awesome.
TheCurlyTheory 0
52; you sir, are a creep.
eurostar710 11
#89 I'm surprised you EVER 'get the real deal'
swampbilly 5
You Awesome
jonnyBgoode 9
Hear hear! Lol
cupcakegirl0424 27
Bro that's the greatest idea EVER. *thumbs up*
NamesIncognita 15
you'll start watching it too eventually. Id share my stash with you but it's too fetishy
vipirius 18
busted... Fyl bro
ryukk_fml 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
was that how you came out of the closet?
julien86_fml 2
Sad :(
kcircuses2 4
4-you're very unfortunate looking
Lily_lops95 0
**** has nothing to do with coming out of the closet. Not unless OP was on a gay **** website
MagicallyFat 12
Is this comment how you came out of the "bitch" closet… ^thats a good example
alfool 0
Maybe if it was a pic of you
KTC30 0
Was that how you were trying to be funny?
CTM0 3
You are quit ugly
meanmeli 0
that's like super awkward....
gazzdogs 5
Like really?!? You don't say.
hnz 13
So what was the conversation about?
kcircuses2 4
church
sweettpie129 11
Lmfao.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
she was probably just suggesting a better **** site...
joee182 3
were your pants at your ankles to?lol
jizzwold 21
Must... resist.... grammar nazi. *too Shit.
joee182 3
like i care how i spell haha
leadman1989 16
******* pandas and their reckless disregard for grammar! >:(
laurbear12 3
Joeee u should probably start caring
yushit 0
Lol dude
mynewaccount 8
ha ha.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Good comment. Really insightful and gave me a deeper thinking into the FML..
BeastNerd 3
taught me the goddamned meaning of life.
Bossman11 6
Take it easy, she's a blonde
sxdryv 14
Who are you!?
igloo_gl 0
Moron... Always close ur **** after masturbating.
joee182 3
or he should at least lock his door haha
DjeePee 25
Maybe OP wasn't finished yet.
ducttapewallet 7
Maybe he hadn't started.
Daralea 21
Or open up a word document and start typing "The effect of repeated pornographic imagery on heart rate: an investigation into the desensitization of the sympathetic nervous system" and then put your student number in the corner. Someone's thesis just got fun!
yadudej 0
ahahahahahahaha!!!! that's all I gotta say. :]