Childfree

I am considering getting the female version of a vasectomy whatever it's called. some people don't want kids nor like them. some people just don't get that. you don't have to have kids to live a successful life. I'd rather adopt if I want kids later in life. labor seems painful and it scares me. having kids is not for everyone.

I would suggest waiting! Just use birth control and condoms. If you're concerned about getting pregnant, practice caution. A tubal ligation can come with risks, since it is a surgery, and there is a chance you'll regret it. Though in some cases the ligation is reversible (depending on the method used), there's no guarantee that you'll still be fertile after. Childbirth is probably not nearly as awful as you think it is.

If you're in the US and never had kids getting your tubes tied is very difficult. Many doctors won't perform the procedure because they worry about the possibility that the woman may change her mind and seek to have the procedure reversed or possibly hold the doctor at fault in some way. I also don't want children so I'll be talking to my OBGYN about what my options are.

#104: I'm in the US and I got my tubes tied at 25. Never had kids, never wanted them. It was ridiculously easy to get it done. I just told the doctor what I wanted and he asked a few questions and scheduled it for a month later.

#109, you were lucky. In my area they refuse to tie tubes unless you're 30 or already have 2 kids (but you still have to be 25 years old). I was told I could never have kids so I wanted my tubes removed to lower my risk of ovarian cancer since it runs in my family. I was shot down everywhere I went.

I did finally have a child (doc was stumped as to how) at 26 and found a doc who would remove my tubes because I was showing cancerous cells. She's still the only one around here who would do it though.

97, getting pregnant more than a mere concern to me, even though I've been told I might be sub fertile anyway. Nothing about pregnancy or child reading appeals to me. If I found out I was pregnant and couldn't have an abortion, it would be a death sentence...it literally sounds so horrible to me that I would rather end my own life. And yet in spite of the fact that I have a documented history of depression and anxiety that could turn to suicidal tendencies over far less, I still can't find a doctor who will permanently sterilize me. I'm going to the nearest major city for my gyno appointment in a couple weeks in hopes that I can find a referral to someone, anyone who isn't hopping on the bandwagon fallacy that all women must want babies, because my disgust of pregnancy and babies is such that it's impacted my dating life...I don't have one because I'm that afraid of getting physical with a man. So you'll excuse me if I tell you to take your flip advice about "just wait!" and "use condoms like they're 1000% effective!" and ask you to please shove it where the sun don't shine.

#166, you are hitting a lot of hot spots with people and i know ill probably get some heat too, but I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. As a female, people don't really understand my distaste for children. I don't find any of it appealing and also put pregnancy up there with one of the worst things that could happen to me. And yet, I don't like to mess with my body by using hormones or foreign objects (tried both the pill and IUD). As someone who wants to enjoy sex with my boyfriend of 12 years and not worry about pregnancy, it's tough. But really the whole point of my response was to tell you that I have researched tubal ligation as well and it seems to come with A LOT of side effects down the road that may make you seriously regret it. Your body is not meant to have pieces just cut out of it and still be expected to function as normal. Please look into it quite a bit before taking that plunge. Best of luck!

I so wish more doctors would give tubal ligations to women. I would get one.

183, I'm actually looking into the Essure. I know it's taking a lot of heat right now, but the family friends who have had it done had nothing but good things to say about it. I feel you on the worries about BC and IUDs, though. I heard a horror story about a woman who managed to get pregnant while on the IUD, and though my ability to get pregnant at all sounds iffy, it seems like it'd be just my luck to be the second case where the fertilized egg nestled itself just outside of the IUD's reach. And yeah, I guess mentioning abortion and suicide in the same comment wasn't bound to get me a standing ovation, lol. Oh well. As extreme as it may appear to some, that is the honest truth of my feelings about the possibility of getting knocked up.

202, I think some of the negative votes coming your way might be how you expressed yourself. The other women I've seen saying they wouldn't have been too upset over infertility news at least threw in a "sorry for op" line.

I do t get it, why aren't you married?

"Childbirth is probably not nearly as awful as you think it is." Your ****** can tear into your rectum. If you're okay with that, great! If not, recognize that for a lot of people, that is a ******* dealbreaker instead of swaggering around with some kind of weird condescending certainty that everyone secretly wants to be a broodmare. You're the pushy aunt at Thanksgiving who never stops asking the deliberately childless relatives when they're having children. Nobody likes that aunt.

My mother had 2 children and it still took forever for her to get a partial hysterectomy because of something wrong with her body and then longer to get a full(when she wanted w full to start with). I understand some may change their mind, but I find it pretty stupid you can't even decide something about your own body.

216, I do feel bad for OP's girlfriend, because finding out your body doesn't work the way you intended it to must be devastating (in another comment, I analogized it to how I would feel about finding out I'd gotten pregnant). As I found out elsewhere, though, expressing that level of horror about pregnancy still gets you buried even if you do mention that OP's reaction was inappropriate. But I don't mind, really. I just wanted to counteract the generalization I was seeing on here that "ALL women would be soooo upset to hear this, even if they didn't want kids," because I can prove firsthand that there is at least one exception to that rule.

my sister has an upside down and backwards uterus plus is infertile with a failing body. she has a beautiful little girl now. :) doctors have no clue how

Why?

Why? Because it's something his girlfriend obviously wanted..even if he doesn't want any kids there is still a thing called compassion.

She means she hopes OP feels horrible for being excited, not his girlfriend for being infertile.