Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
cottonmouth25 7
Wow, i think this is one of the few fmls where i say you deserve it. I get that you probably didn't mean to show her that and if you don't want kids that's fine, but you should've been more considerate of HER feelings at that time because if she does want to have kids, then shes going to be going through really rough time, you need to be there for her as much as you can, and i mean how devastating it must feel for her and she probably completely did not need that reaction from you because i certainly wouldn't.
gunnerblaster 21
I'm kind've put out that so many people think you don't deserve it. You're kind've a dick, man. Some people really have hopes and aspirations to build a family and because you're too short-sighted to see that, that says measures about your character. Honestly? Solid chance things won't work out between you two because you two obviously have very different priorities. Plus, you're an insensitive prick.
messymessiah 11
You're a bit of an arsehole. You're lucky it's only silent treatment. She should be trying to find a more supportive boyfriend.
cptncuttlefish 24
I hope she dumps your stupid ass, she's far to good for a chump like you.
cappellaaa 23
Seriously messed up on your part. That's all that some women think about, having a family someday. You might not always be there, but she'll have to live with that.
ariasmake1 9
Don't worry about your GF OP, she'll get over it. It's not like she's going to leave you, she's damaged goods.
Keiraquarium 12
Wtf is wrong with you?
bluefairy_fml 24
I think/hope he was just being sarcastic, but sadly I wouldn't be surprised if people like OP had a similar way of thinking.
anarkia1985_fml 1
You're probably going to be measuring this silent treatment in weeks ...
jlee95 5
You are literally the biggest piece of shit out there. I'm infertile, and if my fiancé reacted like you did, he would be out of my life faster than you know it, and I would tell his parents how disrespectful he is, as his mom was diagnosed with the same condition as me after having her second child and having several miscarriages trying to conceive a third. You miserable prick. YDI!!
Nm_fml 10
You're an asshole. Learning you can't have kids is so devastating, and so different from choosing NOT to have kids. She should dump you and get someone with a heart!
Bi0xHazard 18
That's one of the many things I will never understand: people who don't want children being with people who want them....