Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
worthypegram1 13
You're a really shitty person. Finding out about infertility is devastating for many people.
ImpracticalJoekr 9
Wow you're a buttass. If my husband reacted so happily if we found out I couldn't have kids the silent treatment would be the least of his worries. You're a jerk.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Sometimes, even if the woman may not want kids, it can make her feel like less than a woman. I am NOT saying it does, but have known a few women who can't have kids and it made them feel that way...at least for a while. If she wanted kids someday it can be downright devastating. Even if she hadn't decided if she would someday want to have kids or not, now that choice has been taken away from her and that can be crushing as well. You taking it as a get-out-of-being-a-daddy card was incredibly insensitive.
iAmDictionary 13
I don't understand how this doesn't have more YDI's. OP, you're a special kind of stupid if you thought she wouldn't be upset about this.
IWishIWasObama 12
You're a selfish douche! I hope she tosses your ass and gets a real man who would comfort her in her moment of anguish. You deserve to die alone where the only sexual pleasure you can achieve is from your hand!
epicbattle22 2
you are not a nice person
RoseLich 17
You deserve it. Coming from an infertile woman, how dare you be so happy that you don't have to wear a condom? Would it kill you to try to understand she's probably feeling like she lost part of herself? It might sound strange, but it's true. Not only that, but if it's due to health issues, then you really deserve whatever hell she throws your way. Grow up, man.
radicalerin 3
As someone who doesn't want kids and can't get pregnant, believe me, it still hurts.
nevereyes 31
As someone who doesn't want kids (me), it would be awesome news
hershadow 2
Speaking from personal experience - expecting that I probably wouldn't be able to have my own kids, I told my boyfriend early on that we may have to adopt. Even though I prepared myself for the news for years, when the doctor finally confirmed it, it hurt. My then boyfriend, now husband, is very understanding and comforting. He is the main reason why I feel better and am looking forward to fostering/adopting when we're ready for the commitment. Doesn't matter whether or not OP's girlfriend ever wanted kids - having the option removed hurts and it lingers. She may feel better soon, but she probably won't ever "get over it." OP, if she forgives you, you'd better prepare yourself for this topic to resurface. There are triggers that bring back the pain (friends having babies, movies, dreams). If your relationship stands a chance, you need to be there for her when that happens and genuinely care about her loss.
SilverSet 16
I won't lie, ydi. Getting told that you're infertile can be incredibly devastating, if your girlfriend wanted to have children in the future, you just really hurt her by showing your true colors. I hope she dumps you.