Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
mackenziemoon 7
You deserve the silent treatment if you're going to be happy instead of comforting her.
ThatOneGirl0101 11
But she really should be happy. Everyone is saying that this is such devastating news. Why is no one happy for her? You shouldn't be getting mad at OP.
allplayedout 20
Because if she was happy about this news, she wouldn't be giving OP the silent treatment over his reaction. It's easy to infer that this is NOT good news for her.
Justwannasayhi 3
You sound young. Unfortunately youth is not an excuse for being inconsiderate prick. If you really care about your girlfriend, you wouldn't just be thinking of unprotected sex.
FalconWhitaker 20
Buy her candy. Buy her a card. Buy her flowers. Apologise until your throat hurts. Just... do SOMETHING to show you realise how massively you've ****** up. Because bro, you have HUGELY ****** up.
bellydancer82 15
I don't see why you have less for "you deserved it". Coming from a woman who doesn't want children I can see why you were excited. BUT, that was very insensitive of you. Many women want children, and it can be very devastating to find out that news. For some it can even put them into major depression. So you deserve more than the silent treatment in my books.
taaywall 13
you totally deserve that hahah sorry
Playvet12 3
Depending on the circumstance, I could imagine why she would be upset.
orsombre_fml 11
Talk to her. Tell her that you love her. These news are devastating for her. You really should apologize.
GamerGuy94 7
Yeah seriously **** you dude. some people want nothing more than to have kids someday
Tyjw924 3
Op's girlfriend should be an ex. She is a child. Grow a pair and work it out.
thathoeoverthere 7
That's messed up of him to laugh! Or get excited when that news probably ruined her life
cantfixme36 28
Are you kidding me? She's a child for getting mad when her boyfriend got excited when she got what was likely devastating news? That is ridiculous. Adults, mature adults, are allowed to express emotion. If you don't understand that, you're the one that's immature.
kitdiantha 0
You. *******. Asshole.