Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.
GavinoFreedom 20
Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.
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Comments (322)
lmbachman 23
That poor girl.... I hope she finds someone better than the OP.
Brandon1000 10
YDI Op... Being infertile is definetly not something to celebrate over. Maybe you don't want kids now but one day you might, and imagine if you couldn't even if you wanted to
thaqueen_fml 15
Are you surprised? YDI. It's more like FHL. Next time be a little more sensitive. You're lucky it's just the silent treatment and she hasn't dumped your ass...yet.
Hop6e 22
Hun. You reacted selfishly. She went to the doctors and just found out her body will not allow her, a female, to reproduce. Woman were created with the intention of being able to reproduce. It's what we're on this earth for. If she chooses to have her tubes tied, or stay on the pill and never have kids fine, that's her own choice, but to have the options just ripped away from her like that? That's not something any woman should ever have to go through and it can be truly devastating. You should be glad after how you responded she's just giving you the silent treatment. Sorry if this is coming off rude, but when something like that happens, how anyone else feels is the last thing she needed to know or hear. I hope it all turns out for the best, good luck to you both.
Krwman 8
Silent treatment??? You're cut off, my friend
ezrajab 22
Damn op I am sorry that can be and is a sensitive issue for some if not all relationships your reaction to the the news probably upset you girl friend. When you both calm down from the news talk to her about it and try to find common ground between the two of you. Best of luck!
mld4657 28
DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!! Unless she is not wanting kids then that is bullshit. if you were with me and acted like that your ass would be on the street
Stuffaluffagus 25
Can't say I blame you
mrBearBear 11
Be thankful she's still there at least. I would've left! You guys could break up tomorrow but that's something that's apart of her for the rest of her life.
AggieMike77 12
Not cool...DEFINITELY not cool.