Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
notsorandomguy 18
What's wrong with a plain old "What? What are you talking about"? Is it too mainstream?
ddeathbombb 5
Do you have a cat lol
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Comments (187)
saltycookies 5
I guess you'd better kiss that beautiful future you had with him goodbye
firefighterjohn 9
mute button?
groupleader 7
Why didn't you just say "sorry, you must have the wrong number", if he knew you didn't have a dog he would have also accepted the wrong number lie as well.
Teabubbles 8
I believe OP was in the middle of the phone call so it would have been awkward if they were casually talking and she said ..."wrong number"..
blackvyper 8
Wherever you may be, let your wind blow free 'cause that's what killed my granny.
RandomComments 6
Lol Noor, you're adorable.
citymayer 7
I only fart every once in a while. Yes it's unnatural. People in my family think that I actually don't even fart ever. I'm not complaining.
wantsPHO 0
Hahahahah classic!
luvscomplic8ed 6
*facepalm*
ICastillo 25
Oh well it's just a fart, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I personally thought girls didn't poop or fart until I read this……
challan 19
We don't, she's either a she-male or an alien.
ICastillo 25
Ha I knew it.
santos1255 5
Ew