Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
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Top comments
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
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Comments (146)
ChantelRenaeee 0
Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.
theten_fml 9
"oh.. those thunder and rain noises were um.. just sound effects for your amazing story babe"
MrKlutch 1
Very lady like
Choose_Wisely 5
"mmhm *grunt* cool story *plop* JESUS!"
zombicidal 11
isn't it a bit unsanitary to put a toilet in the kitchen?
RedPillSucks 33
It's so she can feed shit to the boys that tell her to get them a sammich
jessesgirl14 16
Nice job op
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Need a moment? Chew it over. *Insert candy bar here*
nicework 0
what is she talking about girls don't poop
LiyIa_fml 8
Everytime I talk on the phone, I some how 75% of the time, end up needing to use the bathroom. It sucks when I forget to mute the phone. @.@
Flutequeen 0
He should still love you.
sickjairo 7
This FML is fake girls don't poop.
Flutequeen 0
Yeah we do.
Jdimp 1
wasn't there an FML just like this
crisspz 4
omg I didn't know girls pooped!!!
satph 12
124- seriously? how did you think they released their waste?
asoptavlo14 6
127 seriously? How did you not notice he was kidding?
elisabeth1_fml 0
Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me
NotDave 0
Well, only PARTIALLY full of shit now...
Nanobytez 5
I can happily say, I have never took a shit while on the phone. I've taken a piss, but never that.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
that's disgusting...
jbaby7892 0
I have! Me nd my friend have full conversations while on the toilet... I think we have a telepathic connection.. We poop at the same time=}
419 0
112: That's nice to know...?
missmurderx 8
the things that i could say right now, 112.
nitram06 2
Wow, you look like you would with your absurdly moronic looking picture.
gigi_rawx 9
i dont talk on the phone ever while taking a dump
FlufflyFlamingos 0
Shit happens(: It's normal.
jswizzle_ 6
Overused pun is overused.
EnEl_Infierno 15
What a shitty situation! Okay you can shoot me now. :p
perdix 31
Even worse, it's the OP's nickname in this story.
bitchslapped22 14
Remember this lesson forever, shit happens: Shit happens.
HaHaOhShit 1
Well we all grew up being told that girls never fart you know?
exleonhart 0
Because everybody poops.
missmurderx 8
South Park ruined that for us awhile back.
Mornai 32
It happens to the best of us.
KailyKii 11
It's not that much of a big deal.
iSANDRAi 1
wow talk about how awkward that's going to be when u c him again, but hey ***** happen
deathbreadstick 10
Why should it be awkward? :/
raphdragon02 8
partypooper
chrissy_fml 0
Lmfao
Buttsexpirate 9
"Honey I finally got that promotion! What do you think of that?" *brap, plop, sploosh, splatter* '________'
kbball95 7
Lmfao XD
leadman1989 16
Well you're just a potty mouth!
hippo1234 19
...brap? What sounds come out of YOUR ass?