Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML
Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML
Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I know how you feel! It's the same thing that happens to me when I try to use a garbage bag as a condom;)
SkoomaKi 28
I can just tell you're a nosey person! :D Shoot me now, it's for the best.
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Comments (126)
Hungry_Panda 3
Lol. You must have one big nose!
Rockflid 3
Who nose!
niall92 6
5 - LOL
THE_A_TEEN 28
It would bring Groucho Marx to shame.
Demonfish 14
CALL ME "BIG NOSE" ONE MORE TIME, AND I'LL KNOCK YOU TO ******* CLEVELAND!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Big Nose. Come at me, Bro.
Killuhk 8
Jewish much? Lol
lopsop 12
Everyone nose that's a mean comment. Why did you pick it? It there snot anymore comments you could use?
wilsontws 18
It was nasal a good idea to even try it in the first place.
CaptTeemo 10
Better than no nose
p3mguin 7
60 lol are you serious, that was bad...
devilcb 5
Anyone who has a Lego as their picture cannot be taken seriously on here
Demonfish 14
91- what makes you think being taken seriously is high on my list of priorities?
bunniex1 11
91 your pretty :) and yes I know ur a guy.
thatoneguy79 10
91 - Anyone posting on FML can't be taken seriously. Though I think Legos add a certain element of authenticity and awesomeness.
RyanMacVey 17
*insert Jew joke here*
rubberduckie94 13
You should of made your name Groucho Marx.
Enslaved 38
I would have liked to follow your nose, where ever it goes but I'm a Cheerio not a Fruit Loop.):
Goldenchest 14
Is OP's name Cyrano?
Cloudberry 10
Well, you got your laughs one way or another. Maybe you should have tried them on beforehand, just a thought :)
Meettitan 14
There's nothing wrong with being Jewi... I mean having a monstrous nose...
SkoomaKi 28
I can just tell you're a nosey person! :D Shoot me now, it's for the best.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*Shoots Skoomaki in the face You asked for it.
SkoomaKi 28
Jokes on you, the horrible zombie dancer in the other FML bit me. *zombie dances away*
THE_A_TEEN 28
*Decapitates Skoomaki What now?
SkoomaKi 28
Well.... ****.
tylersign 11
Skoooooomaaaaa! Anyone get what I'm referring to..? Or am I alone..?
VoteForTaco 8
You're alone
p3mguin 7
Forever alone.....
SmokingUnicorn 8
I know what you mean, together alone c:
maosquare 18
Together alone is such an oxymoron.
tylersign 11
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion? Skooma addict guy? Still no? Well damn. That's okay, I didn't want you to know anyway! I'm such a hipster.
wittygirl 8
# 53 I'll have a bottle of that xD what khajiit did you steal it off of LOL
ZX6Rninja 0
Wouldnt you notice something like that beforehand?
JudgeTroll 6
At least they can tell WITCH nose is real
Firuzzy 10
Which*
Cappiej 18
Seeing #11's name, I think he is trolling.
mvems 13
I think he used witch instead of which because witches are known to have rather large noses perhaps?
nofearjenshere 12
^ I hope this means I am a witch then, that way I can perform voodoo on everyone who makes fun of my nose.
SkoomaKi 28
#54 - I certainly know what you're on about. I love Skooma!
OhDearBetrayal 25
34- Grammar Nazi wannabe fail.
mvems 13
54, it doesn't look like your nose even comes close to the criteria of a witch nose. You could pass as a cute little fairy though!
kamikrazy 6
You know what they say about big noses.
kevinn95 0
Big boogers?
nofearjenshere 12
Big fingers to pick them with?
Eiregal2 10
The Eskimos love you more?h
annemarte 4
Damn ugly?!
mvems 13
Who nose maybe you just looked really handsome!