Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
notsorandomguy 18
What's wrong with a plain old "What? What are you talking about"? Is it too mainstream?
ddeathbombb 5
Do you have a cat lol
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Comments (187)
Fishfanatic 7
Oh for heavens' sake woman just fart and get on with life. Every single person on earth does it and needs to do it. No it isn't great to listen to for anyone who hears it or indeed, smells it, but it needs to be done and that's all there is to it . If your boyfriend can't handle the idea that women fart , shit, piss and bleed, then frankly he needs to go back to school and do some basic biology lessons before getting the hell over it.
SwtCherryPie 26
I <3 you
Mitcha857 0
Yea that must have been one hell of a fart if he could hear it over the phone.
JayLite 0
LMFAO!! THAT'S FUNNY!
mad_hatter0666 22
Why didn't you cover the receiver? >_>
MysticKnight 3
59- no your mom is
RandomComments 6
Aw thanks :D
SwtCherryPie 26
OMG you must be the only female that has ever farted! Are you ******* kidding me? It's a natural body process. Unless you're dating a fruity little prissy boy, I'm pretty sure he would laugh it off.
Incogneterpeter 1
This isnt really an fml or ydi you should have just played it off as a joke. My sister and dad both say that all the time sometimes even when we are out and there is no animals around, and it's always a joke
jennifernorvell 7
News flash. Everyone farts
SwtCherryPie 26
My parents never lived together after I was born, but my dad never hid it. He was the type to roll up and lock the windows and laugh while we gagged. My mom (and grandma for that matter) were the type that they would get up and excuse themselves to the bathroom just to fart. Im almost 30 years old, and I don't think I have once ever heard my mom fart.