Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
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Top comments
lmaoatall 6
and you say, nooo, open your ears! it was a snart.
cptmorgan15 2
Haha, funny, but a dick move on his part.
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Comments (121)
amy_eire4759 16
lol
Nychthemeron 2
Way to not vote :|
rallets 23
^ huh? lol she snarted... feezed? o_O
impregnator 0
yumm. wish I was there.
khaya 9
Somebody didn't make it to the bathroom in time. I also think you will now find it is ex-boyfriend.
khaya 9
17- I think you will find it was more than a fart.
rallets 23
17, she not only farted... she snarted '_'
khaya 9
Come on man, have some imagination.
rallets 23
agreed, get some humor while youre at it
jjaymemusic 2
#63 Just saying, farting fairy dust is still a fart.
denlillakotten 4
Hahaha 'it wasnt just a fart'. And yes before they start Girls eat, therefore they also shit, and fart, and burp, etc.
rallets 23
lies! all lies! >:(
impregnator 0
listen. girls don't fart. they eat cuz food is tasty but they have sexy bodies so they use all the nutrients and don't produce farts or waste. stop your damn lies
rallets 23
she just tried saying that girls do actually shit. no need for name-calling :/ #9 knows how their system works
lmaoatall 6
don't forget queef
docscientist 10
My girlfriend claims to burp, and I've heard it, but I'm sure she's parroting.
callofduty4life 0
girls don't poop and are in no way equal to men.
JenL_fml 7
Is the whole "girls don't fart/poop" thing supposed to be a joke? Cause they're really exhausted it to the point where it's not funny anymore... :/
lmaoatall 6
I agree with you 36- now to set the question straight, all females of the world that is reading this, go outside and take a dump on your neighbors lawn.
Thanatos1206 0
Girls don't poop. When they eat food instead of it getting turned into waste, it just turns into emotion.
gutzzzz 0
girls eat? nice try, next thing ur gonna try and tell me is that I should be taking her for walks too... real funny...
rallets 23
snart
maxinexoxo 0
Lol.
RavenRiley007 4
ROfL...ur bf's bro z epic
mz_booty 0
it's not like she crapped herself!! it's a fart!!!!!!!!!
Lustuu_fml 14
Yeah, we don't REALLY fart, it's just a delicate sparkling perfume. You know.
iTaylor 0
Girls poop rainbows.
iTaylor 0
Girls poop rainbows.
Frelling 0
44, I usually hate the whole girls don't fart etc. I like your take on it. Girls be crazy.
number1beaner 0
At least you didn't shart in your pants.
beatrucelynn 0
mouse on a Harley.
sexy_middle_east 0
;)
lmaoatall 6
and you say, nooo, open your ears! it was a snart.
Carpy 8
lmfao
jdogy 0
lmfaooooooo
jlt93 0
30 rock!
hoodasswhitekid 0
haha dude I ****** lost it when I read that!
hersheykisses511 18
Add a burp and you got yourself a burpsnart
carnage1106 0
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE HERE COMES SNARTZILLA!!!!!!!!!
CommonSenseKarma 17
I cackled.
techweed 12
what a bastard! why the hell did he point it out?!!
shift_love 13
cause he's awesome and people should be called out on the farts they try to sneak by
jsx12345 0
he was curious.
aquariusangel420 0
Cuz he's prolly 8
RyDawg918 0
ydi for lying to us. girls dont fart
Captain_Zorro 7
no but they do queef
jess6blondie9 3
You sir are winning.^
rebekahah 7
45- yes we do, and it is NOT pleasant. it is completely awkward feeling.
jsx12345 0
Queefing is fake. Farts are real. *fart, jiggle, sniff*
rallets 23
girls don't fart/shit
rallets 23
perhaps a sense of humor will help?
cptmorgan15 2
Haha, funny, but a dick move on his part.
illmatic2 16
Multitasking FTW! Good job,OP.
mjeter86 3
good one!!!