Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to cook an extra healthy, vegetable filled meal for my boyfriend and I. Not only did we notice the vegetables were off a little too late, but he also found my hair in his bowl. We had to settle for turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti loops instead. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML
Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
To me, ketchup is a vegetable. Beer has hops - that's a vegetable! Chocolate is made from cacao beans - VEGETABLE!!
griffins33 4
You defended them? Did someone challenge you about it?
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Comments (154)
griffins33 4
You defended them? Did someone challenge you about it?
JonnyGoldsmithXX 0
My thought exactly, FML's are getting sloppy
GVirdi 11
18 not all of them, did you not see the wording on the "daily offering to the porcelain throne" FML? that one was geniusly worded
Viciousstorms 7
What's wrong with vegetables?
xFluttershy 7
This is just a suggestion, but maybe, Just maybe... You could just eat normal vegetables..?
SuperKnuckels 6
Sorry ydi, you live in china and resort to crappy cup noodles!? make the legit ones throw egg mushroom and all that goodness in there!
CrassKal 27
I get most of my vegetables by blending them into a smoothie and covering the taste up with fruit.
WaxyBootz 0
Everyone stop talking shit ok? OP is probably allergic to vegetables so stop talking shit ok?
DocBastard 40
Holy shit, WaxyBootz! Who the **** pissed in your corn flakes this morning? Lighten the **** up.
The_Troller 14
91- Allergic? Where the **** did you get that from? Is there something written in between the lines, that I'm missing?
ohmandapants 17
Lolol yeah yeah, I'm sure that's it. OP is "allergic to vegetables". Still using the same lines you used as a child huh? If OP was "allergic" then this would be a completely different FML. "today, I ate those dried up things in the cup noodles because I'm allergic to real vegetables. FML"
Guren 0
I'm guessing you substitute corn flakes for eggs and bacon too?
RaggleFrock 13
#66 dried noodles are chinas biggest export. I'm pretty sure they can eat them like everyone else in the world can, you know...for convenience. But assuming everyone in china can cook noodles is like assuming everyone in America is fat.
jordan19646774 2
Maybe the real vegetables challenged the dried up ones, and he defended the dried up ones..
ocie14 9
Must be hard to be you...
mike3775 39
I never understood why people do not like vegetables myself. I love eating them.
Stealthed 8
I too love all vegetables but this comment could be the same as asking why someone believes a certain religion, end of the day everyone's different in every way possible.
MissHayleyJames 7
I don't like vegetables because they taste like ass.
benmec 18
Yuk. You say this from personal experience? If you got fetishes, that's all good & gravy. Just saying... ;)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I think it also has to do with how they're prepared. Interestingly, though not surprisingly, people who don't eat vegetables don't know how to prepare them very well, further contributing to their overall dislike for them. Since all of us do need vegetables to be healthy, I think experimenting with recipes and perhaps tasting some dishes made by someone who's more experienced in the area might change their minds enough to include them in their diets more often.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Yeah, it all depends how they're cooked. Crisp vegetables are great, mushy ones are terrible. I'll snack on raw carrots, but cooked ones need to be avoided like the plague.
desireev 18
I love vegetables any way they're cooked. I love raw, steamed, boiled, baked, broiled, sauteed, grilled, etc.. I love all the vegetables! I'm not vegetarian, but I, easily, could be. I like all the so-called 'nasty' veggies too! Brussel sprouts, asparagus, spinach, broccoli, etc.. The 'nastier' they are, the healthier they are for you! :)
Roevera 14
41- I think its amusing how you can make a comparison between ass and vegetables. Have you tasted ass before?
evilplatypus 39
I'm a "texturist." I CANNOT stand the texture of vegetables (most of them anyway; carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, celery, and every other type I've tried, except for the lettuces and cabbages). The only way I'll eat them is if they're cooked until they are mushy and placed in a chowder. The only vegetables I know I like is the tip of over-cooked asparagus and canned green beans.
elephantom12 9
80 - I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that it was just a figure of speech and he wasn't being serious -.-
mike3775 39
ShroomsOnAcid - great point.
The_Troller 14
Carrot cake. That is all.
gojira666 7
Broccoli cheese soup brings me to my knees
MissHayleyJames 7
I'll eat certain vegetables if they're smothered in cheese or cooked in butter and brown sugar. That masks the nasty vegetable taste and it's manageable then. Some veggies though aren't even good like that. Taste is a really weird thing for me. If it tastes bad enough (like raw or steamed veggies other than carrots) it'll make me throw up.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Boiled carrots with brown sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla is pretty good. Just don't cook them long enough for them to get soft.
Pandacupcakelove 26
89- no shit Sherlock -.- she wasn't being serious either!
BTSfanatic 0
41- your logic enlightens me
missallielou0911 5
How do you know what ass tastes like 0.0
periwinkle95 10
The only vegetable I dislike is celery. It tastes like dirt to me! Haha
WesBrady 7
I hate veggies but I think most people hate them because as kids we grow up just not liking them and have that mindset that says *barf* so when older our brains are wired just to not like them automatically. Unless of course we smother and rape the veggie with sweet sugary yummy shit.
raney150 0
People have different taste buds. I want to enjoy eating them, but I hate them.
goldfishgod 20
The vegetables aren't as good as the fish flakes.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
That says allot. Fish flakes are disgusting so i could not imagine how bad the vegetables were.
j_cat187 20
Damn nice photo.
MissMae93 23
28 - Don't be a creeper.
j_cat187 20
#60. ....from a photographers point of view, follows rule of thirds with dynamic composition makes for an interesting photo...*flap*
The_Troller 14
I think you mean *Fap*
immaMonsta 8
Or you could just eat real vegetables...
Morgannnnuhhh 1
Nahh, that would be too hard.
draegbomb 5
Or space brownies?? Cuz in my book weed counts as a vegetable.
Alexisthebestest 16
Aren't the vegetables in the cup of soups "real" vegetables?
infinitii 0
I fail to see how this ruined your life so much that you had to post about it.
toenibbler 14
Vegetables: the unidentifyable objects that one finds in cup noodles
failgamer 7
How is this an FML
DocBastard 40
To me, ketchup is a vegetable. Beer has hops - that's a vegetable! Chocolate is made from cacao beans - VEGETABLE!!
queen_awks 16
It pleases me greatly to hear this said by a doctor.
j_cat187 20
I smoke weed, VEGETABLE!!
MizzErikaHart 8
Wouldn't ketchup b fruit?
DocBastard 40
Erika - Shush, you're ruining the illusion. That's like the guy at the David Copperfield show saying "He didn't actually make the elephant disappear! It's just mirrors!"
g_asia 4
Smoking weed doesn't make it a vegetable lol...
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
30. Yes, yes it would. Today, tomorrow and any other day of the year it would be fruit.
faithxoxox 1
If tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Dracoboxer357 36
9- Geez Doc, if you're going to make that big of a stretch in what qualifies as a veggie, why not include a porterhouse steak, since the cow ate grass to grow itself? ;P
Roevera 14
59- Philosoraptor!
Michaelsgirl04 9
I eat pizza! That's a vegetable, right? I never got why they were making it a vegetable when tomatoes are fruit...
micahsmommy 13
But if the super markets sell the tomatoes in-between squash and cucumbers and not between oranges and kiwi then it's okay to count the tomato as a veggie right?
StillSinging9594 0
I've always gone by the rule that if you're in the kitchen, a tomato is a vegetable, but if you're in a science class it's a fruit haha :)
Senseless_487 29
90 - technically, cucumber is a fruit, too. It has seeds inside it!
Valdrek 26
29- kudos for that one lolocaust
DocBastard 40
Lolo-what? No, friend. Don't do that.
KiddNYC1O 22
35- Good day... I said good day!
asiandude801 4
Fml's just keep getting more stupid...