Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
notsorandomguy 18
What's wrong with a plain old "What? What are you talking about"? Is it too mainstream?
ddeathbombb 5
Do you have a cat lol
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Comments (187)
ddeathbombb 5
Do you have a cat lol
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Of course she has a cat! ...just not the kind that meows. Whoop!
mrlopez 13
That kind of cat doesn't fart, unfortunately.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yes they do. It's called a Queef. (I probably misspelled that)
mikeofthunder 13
What!? That's disgusting! Your penis doesn't fart, right?
Killuhk 8
Well OP you should have said "NO!!! Did YOU fart???!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No...Op is a girl.
nado13579 12
OP, while your boyfriend was talking you could have pressed mute for a second so that you could still hear him, but he didn't hear your fart.
lol70720 5
Something a 10 year old would say.
ttttttyyy 0
Ewww!!!!
alejandratx 8
Mute.
trell000 13
Should've started talking really loud like that one episode of family guy.
adzz90 16
Should of put the phone down and said it cut off
onlychildFTW 34
OP, you should have said it was a duck outside your window!
guss5441 18
Did u fart no a duck desited to cone to my window and atart farting
panikkattackk 9
Why would you even say that then lolol?
mikeymayhem_87 15
Instinct most likely lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
I'm pretty sure OP didn't "Laugh out loud out loud", hence the FML.
hemz_fml 13
What's wrong with farting behind closed doors?
MysticKnight 3
56- because it keeps the fart inside
keenflow 2
92- that's ****** hilarious man touché
tara805 0
You could've just clicked the mute button..
notsorandomguy 18
What's wrong with a plain old "What? What are you talking about"? Is it too mainstream?
MysticKnight 3
What what in your butt?
Meettitan 14
What happens if they ask you to make the faux fart noise again? O.o
Big_Chives 7
Let's just be grateful he can't smell it, you may still have a chance!
MysticKnight 3
I would have dumped her even if I heard it over the phone
deviable 9
Then you're pretty shallow. Girls fart too, get over it.
nofearjenshere 12
And poop! In fact... *flushes*
iliketurdles 7
Yeah, but girls only poop rose petals.. It's true, apparently, it's science and stuff.
plum_lovin 28
Hahaha...cute.
Big_Chives 7
It was a joke, I actually wouldn't make a big deal out of it!
ReesieBanana21 12
94-Shallow much? Sometimes you can not help it. I am going through a time where I can not help it all. Whoops. TMI
The_Hitdude 12
Well now you're embarrassed and you made yourself look stupid. Why not just admit to it? As a guy, I can say he would most likely laugh it off.
The_Hitdude 12
Hmmm. Okay. Maybe it's a female thing. The vast majority of guys, if they admitted to it would laugh, and probably even make a game out of it. Or maybe I'm just weird like that.
olpally 33
The hitdude- I think it's hilarious, when you love someone, you learn to love the gas... :D haha, go ahead op, fart away! Lmao
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Yes, Dad. I farted. So how was your day?"
peachesncreem 21
I fart in front of my boyfriend D: does that make me weird?
RyanMacVey 17
I fart in front of my boyfriend too. Giving him the 10 second countdown of course in case he wants to make a quick escape.
Demonfish 14
What's a few farts among friends? °_•
OhDearBetrayal 25
It's because most girls want to keep the male belief that girls don't fart alive...
pokefan813 16
7 - Then we would have had another fml saying " I admitted to my boyfriend that I farted over the phone while talking to him, and he can't stop laughing" with many YDI votes.
Keevarou 17
What did you even think? That's one of the worse I have heard. If you just were honest at the start it would have gone better
mikeofthunder 13
Dude it's an FML.. People are meant to fail
FMLshark 12
The sense of humor is weak with this one.
Steve95401 49
How about using the "mute" button on your phone?
SkoomaKi 28
Not all phones have it. OP shouldn't be that embarrassed, everyone does it.
mars13_fml 8
Or covering the mouth piece or turning on music... There are a lot of things she could've done to avoid that situation.
MysticKnight 3
Stop over analyzing it; how about just cut the crap and fart right in the mouth piece god damn it.
Marcella1016 32
Even if there is no mute button, how hard is it to fart silently? Or is that just some magical skill that I have and no one else does?
ghostlilac 25
You could have just put your hand over the mouthpiece...
mikeymayhem_87 15
Be proud of the farts of loud!! A sense of humor is a good thing!