Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, the handle on our front door broke, leaving us unable to open it. We got a guy to come to sort it out, but all he succeeded in doing was completely wrecking the door. He says he can come back next week. We have no other way out of the house. FML
Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML
Today, a DNA test proved that my 2-month-old daughter isn't mine. The real father is my girlfriend's husband, whom she married last year when she lied to me about going on a vacation. We've been together for three years and I never knew. FML
Today, I got a new title at work. My boss hyped it up and made it sound amazing, so I accepted. Come to find out it pays 20k less a year and is twice as much work. FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML
Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML
Today, I realized that my work life is far less stressful than my home life. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my boyfriend and roommate got into a fist fight over a magic trick. They ended up putting a huge hole in the wall that's going to be expensive to fix. We're renting my boss's house. FML
Today, at a wedding reception, I accidentally caught the bouquet. I got cussed out by the women who were fighting over it for being uninvited and party crashing. I'm a busgirl and the bouquet only landed on the tray I was holding. FML
Today, I sat down at my computer for the first time in a week, and discovered that my cat had thrown up all over my keyboard. I needed to write up an important document but the chunks were stuck down in the keys, effectively locking it up and making it useless. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML
Today, we had to run a lap around the football field at band practice. I've had severe asthma for several years and it decided to kick up. As I sat on the ground, wheezing and crying, a fellow member ran past and muttered "fatass". FML
cravingdeath tells us more.
Today, my grandmother got my future mother in law's phone number somehow. She managed to upset her so much that my fiancé now wants to call off the wedding. FML
73012211 tells us more.
73012211 17
Hey guys! OP here. So, I am still not totally sure about the exact content of the conversation, but basically, my grandmother comes on very strong, and has some very strong opinions. She enjoys telling other people what to do, and can often come across as being rude, even though she means well. Apparently, Grandma was telling my future MIL that she (my MIL) was going about things the wrong way, in regards to the wedding, and coming across as if she were insulting her parenting. My fiancé rec
Today, the only way my newborn sleeps is if I dance around with him strapped to me. Six hours and counting. FML
Today, I learned that my position will end in the next month. When I asked my boss about it, she told me I would have to reapply for the job to keep it. I have to pass another interview test for the job I've been working for the past 8 months. FML
Christie Clarke tells us more.
OP here. Didn't think this would get published, but here we are. For background context, I work in a public library and it was a term job on top of my permanent position that went from March to November 2017. It has good pay and good hours so I desperately want to keep it, but I have to reapply. Also anyone else can apply for it too, so I have to ace the interview. My permanent position, on the other hand, is under 20 hours biweekly at a little above minimum wage; not something I can live off of, but at least I'll have that and can look for another job if I have to. Thanks for the positive feedback :)
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I met my favourite singer, but when she signed my CD, the marker was out of ink. By the time I realised there was no signature, she was already gone. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, my mom borrowed my computer without my permission and downloaded a virus. I came home to a blue screen of death. She refuses to admit fault and pay for a new computer. FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my wife and I agreed to get two horses. She got three horses and a pregnant goat. FML
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML
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