Dog Jump Fail By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York Practice doesn't always make perfect! agreeclassic 434 vote type 1 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML agreeclassic 428 vote type 1 97
Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML agreeclassic 41 979 vote type 1 6 624
Today, at my supermarket job, I told an elderly woman that we no longer sell her favorite juice due to supply chain issues. She got so upset that she peed on the floor. I had to clean it up. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML agreeclassic 1 064 vote type 1 69
Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML agreeclassic 44 941 vote type 1 6 714
Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML agreeclassic 485 vote type 1 108
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML agreeclassic 11 500 vote type 1 67 685