Today, on holiday 5,000 miles from home with my boyfriend and our child, I found out that he’s been constantly messaging and hooking up with one of my best friends. I have no money to get home. Only 10 days to go. FML
tragic1992 tells us more.
tragic1992 20
Still stuck here. It’s all inclusive so at least we won’t starve. He hasn’t been off his phone the whole time messaging her. No ***** given on his part !!! Meanwhile I’m falling apart! FML
Today, my teacher called me "stupid and ignorant" for referring to myself as Asian. I'm from Pakistan. Pakistan is in Asia. FML
Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML
Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML
Today, I went to a haunted house with my fiancé. A few minutes in, I saw someone following us so I turned and screamed. She ran off and my fiancé explained that she wasn't an actor, just a lady with a pigment disorder. I can never go back there again. FML
Today, having moved to Moscow over a week ago, I finally received the TV my work promised my flat would have. A big Russian man came to my door, handed me a TV from the 1970s and left. It doesn't work. FML
Today, I slipped and fell while shopping at a local grocery store. I slipped and fell in the same store last week. FML
DanielleinDC tells us more.
DanielleinDC 34
To add context: You enter through a street-level foyer of sorts, and you can take an elevator or the stairs to get to the shopping area. So the first time, I slipped on some water at the top of those stairs. The second time, I was walking through the produce section and slipped on a grape on the floor. I gotta say, I'm a bit surprised and pleased to finally have one published. And, no, I wasn't hurt; I was just a bit shaken up. In fact, when I slipped and fell the second time, I thought, not again! And one reason I keep going is it's a five-minute walk from my apartment.
Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML
Today, I fulfilled a lifelong dream by attending a Dallas Cowboys football game. Our sitter fell through at the last minute so I took my five-year-old son instead of my wife. We had to leave after the first quarter because he threw up everywhere. FML
Today, as I got on the bus to commute to work, its front right tire exploded. Everyone, including the driver, glared at me while getting off. The next bus arrives in 2 hours. FML
Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Today, my brother texted me a picture of his "upcoming disconnect" notice for his utility bill and asked if I could loan him the money to pay it. All I could give him was a picture of my "disconnected" notice. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, a day before my birthday, I'm submitting my unplanned resignation after receiving an applicant's phone call inquiring about my position. Because yep, there was already an ad for an opening in my position. FML
beybmoo tells us more.
beybmoo 15
Wow this is my first FML that got published! Thanks for giving it a chance! I saw a few of you said I might have jumped the gun on this one. I might have but not before considering that there aren't any other position to be promoted to. It's a tiny company of 5. And there weren't anymore room or budget or busy enough for an additional staff. I had 2 managers & I didn't get along with 1 of them, and the other's (which I got along & like) often overseas. So I can guess this descision to hire a replacement is more with the manager who I didn't get along with. I had prior bad experience with a former employer who always threatened and actually went as far as advertising for a replacement when any staff's performance slipped so I'm quite sensitive about these stuff. On the upside, I didn't have to serve the 1 month notice and I actually got paid almost 2 weeks extra on top of a full month's salary. And I found another job pretty fast so!
Today, I spent ages writing a draft press release as part of a copywriting job application. I worked really hard and read it through several times before submitting. They emailed me to point out that I'd misspelled the name of the company. Twice. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills. I returned from the bathroom to find a broken vase, spilled powder formula, and my phone wiped clean from too many incorrect password attempts. FML
Today, I was doing a job interview on Skype when my roommate decided to reboot the wireless router because "the internet was too slow". The interviewer didn't bother calling again. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I spent two hours painstakingly making a berry tart for my best friend. As I was taking it out of the oven, the glass dish slipped from my hands and shattered all over the kitchen floor. Now I have no tart and I owe her housemate a new dish. FML
Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML
Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML
Today, at 7 months pregnant, I dealt with migraines, body aches, and morning sickness. In my rush to the bathroom, I couldn't get my dog out of the way and puked on his back. Now he needs a bath, but wet dog makes me more nauseous. FML
pocahauntas91 tells us more.
Hi, OP here. Morning sickness can be all the way up through the end of pregnancy. In my case, my husband is a very sound sleeper and hates puke more than I do, and he works nights so I didn't want to wake him up. Luckily this isn't an every day issue but it's been enough that I can't wait for this tapeworm to come out so the sick feeling stops lol
Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers. My students think that, while I'm a good teacher, I have constant "wardrobe malfunctions" and spill my "bloody ass tampons all over the place like a bitch". I teach 6th graders. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML
Today, Hurricane Ophelia hit. I had been meaning to fix my roof for a while but couldn't get around to it. My roof is now embedded in my car. FML
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