Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML
Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML
Today, while pulling out of my work parking lot, I had a piping hot coffee tossed at me through my passenger window. I don't know if I was more amazed by this guy's exquisite aim or the fact that his coffee was so sweet I tasted the diabetes. FML
Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML
Today, after finally deciding to push past my extreme shyness, I talked to the person beside me in class. I was so nervous that when I went to take a sip of my coffee, it slipped out of my hand and splashed all over both of us. Not only did I ruin her white dress, but I also gave her mild burns. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
No more coffee for her, that's for sure.
Tripartita 45
Well, it's not like questioning it would've helped anyway. "Why do you want quite a lot of sugar in your drink?" "Because I'm going to throw it all over you." "Ah-ha!" "Darn, you got me."
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Comments (13)
MidnaLink 35
No more coffee for her, that's for sure.
Glowworm56 27
That turned into a horror movie rather quickly.
Tripartita 45
Well, it's not like questioning it would've helped anyway. "Why do you want quite a lot of sugar in your drink?" "Because I'm going to throw it all over you." "Ah-ha!" "Darn, you got me."
Donut_Wizard 23
Coffee napalm? Clever indeed. At least it wasn't covfefe.
RichardPencil 32
Usually, the adjective preceding “old lady” is “sweet,” but that doesn’t really apply here.
davecross 11
Wow she's an evil old lady with dementia
Lobby_Bee 18
Immature boys will eventually grow up, but bitches are forever.
skippydoda 32
You've clearly never met my brother.
Jason Cropper 7
Diabolical on her part.
Caci Johnson 9
well, that escalated quickly.
Firestar268 25
Well that heated up quickly