Boo! Get better jokes! By Bad open mic night - 25/09/2025 00:00 Today, I thought I was alone in the breakroom, so as I reheated my lunch, I started practicing my stand-up comedy routine out loud. I was halfway through a joke about constipation when the vending machine guy poked his head out from behind the vending machine he was restocking and said, “Don’t quit your day job.” FML I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 417 Share Tweet Share
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian! By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 00:00 Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 660 You deserved it 183 Share Tweet Share
Today, I realized it is my life goal to get kicked out of a fast-food restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 247 You deserved it 882
Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 154 You deserved it 5 757
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 530 You deserved it 6 890
Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 259 You deserved it 4 665
Today, I sent my wife to a 5 hour spa day. She's now upset because she had to wait to get a pedicure, and the house wasn’t clean when she got home. We have a toddler and I was playing with her, running errands, and cooking us a family dinner. She's a stay at home mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 547 You deserved it 156
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML I agree, your life sucks 536 You deserved it 774