Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18478) - you deserved it (10306)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18478) - you deserved it (2076)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (3294)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (2054)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (1327)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

#18755712
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:56am - health - by naagodinho (man) - Portugal

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (5196)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18464) - you deserved it (57645)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (25120)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (4939)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18457) - you deserved it (47092)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: