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Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17145) - you deserved it (41597)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (50320)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (6574)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (51470)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17135) - you deserved it (30976)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (3306)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17129) - you deserved it (60305)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (3220)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (4296)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (2338)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (25939)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (3802)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)



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