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The all-time greatest FMLs

Money Saving Fail

By FML Videos - 31/08/2018 13:30 - United States - New York

Nice try, guy.

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 100

Bad Brains

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 03:00

Today, I'm apparently on a "thinking ban." My wife and kids have banned me from starting any sentence with, “I think“ because it always leads to some sort of disaster, or accident, or expensive mistake, etc. So I'm no longer allowed to think because me thinking is dangerous for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 836

Long term cringe

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 08:00

Today, I realized that the reason why my classmates from second grade may have thought of me so poorly was that I stupidly told all of them that I was a bedwetter and needed to wear pull-ups during the night. I feel like a fool now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 195

Insult to injury

By Kellie82 - 10/04/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 928

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 721

DIY Haircuts

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 04:01 - Germany

Today, I cut my own hair. It looks great. Absolutely professional. From the front, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 721

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 1 388

Why does the chicken cross the road?

By Lewis - 20/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris

Just to piss me off... You nugget!

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 68

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 22:00

Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 1 188

Too good to be perfect

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 343

Love story for the ages

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 14:00

Today, I found my long-term partner has been liking an OnlyFans account's tweets. I'd be upset, but I think we're still together because neither of us wants to admit defeat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 952

Going In Circles

By FML Videos - 05/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

You spin me right round baby right round...

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 91

Short-lived

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 569

Where am I?

By Blinded - 18/06/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, I participated in the "Color Run," an event where you walk across town while people douse you with colored powder. They have yet to implement a rule saying you can't hit people in the face. My ears are pink and blue, my hair's orange, my lips and beard are purple, and I can see better WITHOUT my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 790

Unreliable bladder

By ttt - 07/02/2023 06:00

Today, while on a road trip, we stopped at a convenience store and I did not feel the need to pee at all. Ten minutes later, back on the road, my teeth were floating. I’m in my twenties and thought only little kids and the elderly had this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 607

Fandoms are weird

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 09:02 - Romania

Today, even three months after seeing 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan', I can’t think about anything or anyone except Saavik anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 515

Are you OK?

By FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 762

Strange parenting

By Anonymous - 25/01/2023 18:30 - United States - El Paso

Today, for the fourth day in a row, my nine year-old son drags his feet when it’s bedtime with any excuse he can come with. He keeps getting up an hour later to tell me a story. No punishment, nothing works. I gave up and offered him $300, yes $300 cash, to go to sleep. He said no and ran to bed crying, saying I upset him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 1 046

It's a Jedi knockout

By Edouard - 22/02/2021 11:01 - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend and I are still arguing about the same subject, which is pretty much one of the only things we disagree on: whether Obi-Wan is hotter than Anakin or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 763

Boo!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 08:00

Today, I excitedly waited to watch the finale and reunion of The Ultimatum on Netflix. It was the worst thing to ever happen to reality TV, which is really saying something considering all the shit out there. It was the only thing I was looking forward to in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 695

Scratch cards

By Just my luck - 15/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 336

Let him cook

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 12:00

Today, I realized that I've been using the wrong name for a coworker for the past 6 months. I just found out their real name when I saw their name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 738

I'm new to this, sorry

By Fifi - 01/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 421

Fight club

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 479

Classic mistake

By FuhedUp - 31/10/2021 08:00

Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 3 656

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 415

Creepy kid

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 16:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized it was mistake telling my son to toughen up and fight his own battles when he told me he was getting bullied. Apparently, his idea of fighting his own battles involves ipecac. I don't know where he got it, but when I asked, he just gave the Kubrick stare and denied knowing what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 974

Thanks for nothing

By Guess I'll Die - 13/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 354

When Parents Get Pissed

By FML Videos - 20/09/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

The Haka is legit.

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 62

Sweet dreams are made of these

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out my two favorite heterosexual female coworkers are cheating on their partners with one another. I kinda wish someone had invited me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 1 148

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 222

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 962

The Top

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 225

You deserved it 2 611

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 661

You deserved it 3 155

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 251

Today, I got home from a hard day and sent a project due tomorrow from my laptop. While I was in the bathroom, my parents took my laptop, which is all paid by me for no reason. I tried telling them multiple times that I have 3 projects due this week, but they said that's not a reason to stay on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 75

Today, I attended my mom's funeral, who was the only person who ever truly supported me. During the funeral, the cemetery representative told me he was sure the hole was dug to specification, while at the same moment the casket got caught on the ground and tipped, dropping her 6ft down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 81

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 626

You deserved it 4 847