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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11063) - you deserved it (50356)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11064) - you deserved it (34361)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11060) - you deserved it (34245)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11060) - you deserved it (18894)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

#538
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11059) - you deserved it (19318)

On 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm - misc - by kisyfrot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (38872)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (26934)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (42619)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11052) - you deserved it (60032)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11052) - you deserved it (48253)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (52348)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (69795)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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