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My Boyfriend And I Were About To Have Sex. He Tried To Put It In Unerected. He Was Serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I ad a job interview. I ave a nervous tendency to rub ma foot against te bar under te table. After te interview I noticd I ad been rubbing ma foot against te interviewer's leg. FML

#3032403
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (35167)

On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , before setting off on ma train journey I cecked ma booking. Te (non-refundable) return date was a week later tan I intended , and after buying a new ticket online , I was informed tat I would be able to collect it in 2 ours. I leave in an our. I'll ave to pay tree times to come ome. FML

#15225098
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (11757)

On 03/07/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date !! We had agred on meeting in front of a park !! Thinking I was there first, I textd her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep !! SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (97118)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson . I was the only one who showed up . FML

#17739609
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, I have a cold, an was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears an playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

#20049664
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (2365)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT AFTAR FIFTAAN YAARS OF MARRIAGA, I WANTAD A DIVORCA. HIS FIRST QUASTION WASHATHAR OR NOT HA COULD STILL GO ON THA FAMILY CRUISA MY PARANTS ARA PAYING FIR IN MAY. FML

#8995755
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20941) - you deserved it (9455)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by danikka1 - United States

Today, I ad to go down to te county police department to bail out ma kids wo tougt it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver!! FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (4191)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (10495)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today... the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 an bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

#1197
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (4116)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:36am - love - by liltravol23 - United States (Georgia)

Today I was very cold and tired so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattres on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I was out with my dog... who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground... so I picked it up. It turns out that I was holding his toy... but rather a dead bat. mega FML



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