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Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

#8331914
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (4535)

On 02/16/2010 at 5:46am - work - by MikeIsMaster (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19804) - you deserved it (52365)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

#19245415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19804) - you deserved it (2081)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

#1017007
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (53621)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (12759)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (4265)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (2686)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

#19471721
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

#18916870
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (6111)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (6378)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (8446)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (7371)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (6612)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)



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