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Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18306) - you deserved it (4842)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (2149)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

#19404145
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18303) - you deserved it (11020)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (2699)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (1441)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (36604)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (1851)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (4596)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (3925)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (7650)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (6052)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18285) - you deserved it (11831)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (34323)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States



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