Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17030) - you deserved it (26262)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17027) - you deserved it (42361)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17027) - you deserved it (10602)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

#540
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:43pm - work - by No name - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (3616)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17011) - you deserved it (60546)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17009) - you deserved it (40517)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (1311)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

#19502364
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17002) - you deserved it (21630)

On 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm - health - by burr415 (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17000) - you deserved it (34273)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

#1315
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16998) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:27am - work - by hapless - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16997) - you deserved it (94774)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16998) - you deserved it (2078)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: