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Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (2021)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (7574)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (1575)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (1492)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (1737)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (2502)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (1651)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (13377)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (25461)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (52430)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20358) - you deserved it (33741)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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