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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

#3032403
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (35196)

On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, before setting off on my train journey I checked my booking. The (non-refundable) return date was a week later than I intended, and after buying a new ticket online, I was informed that I would be able to collect it in 2 hours. I leave in an hour. I'll have to pay three times to come home. FML

#15225098
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (11757)

On 03/07/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (3611)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (96966)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (2960)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (4191)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

#8995755
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (9455)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by danikka1 - United States

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (10495)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

#1197
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (4143)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:36am - love - by liltravol23 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML



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