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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

#21452087
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (1978)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

#21441443
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (1808)

On 07/14/2015 at 8:00am - work - by mississpissi (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (3352)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (2360)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, a woman who works in the clinic across the road told me that my glass isn't frosted enough and she and all her patients can see me when I shower. FML

#21455668
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25414) - you deserved it (3171)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by theflasher (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (1958)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (6470)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

#6283712
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (2223)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (3412)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (243939)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)



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