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Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

#19227249
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11097) - you deserved it (18297)

On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11096) - you deserved it (22617)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

#5041088
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (44912)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (29503)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (27491)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

#19129747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11086) - you deserved it (8713)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11081) - you deserved it (35216)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

#18520794
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (37382)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML

#5506642
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (33128)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (183384)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11073) - you deserved it (24289)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11073) - you deserved it (22200)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (34254)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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