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Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

#14932841
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16850) - you deserved it (23417)

On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16847) - you deserved it (2039)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

#20000200
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (1988)

On 08/03/2012 at 10:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16834) - you deserved it (80603)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I over drafted my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

#3578702
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16835) - you deserved it (47554)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:37am - money - by jedd90 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16826) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (57869)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16814) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (38697)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

#20087864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

#7234085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (4132)

On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (55626)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16802) - you deserved it (34965)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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