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Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

by AndyClara / 06/14/2015 at 4:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 2:13am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

by ouch / 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

by doggie_doo_face / 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

by gs / 09/19/2011 at 6:16am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

by I-love-my-tea / 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

by sneezer / 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm / Love

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

by Rose / 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm / United States / Love

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:46pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals

Today, my mom and dad went to court to negotiate child support for me and my brothers. During the meeting, my dad was asked, "Sir, are you saying that the only reason you want your sons to live with you full time is so you don't have to pay child support?" To which he responded, "Yes." FML

by vanillapudding6 / 10/13/2015 at 9:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous