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Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (3364)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

#20052545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by merissa22 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (5507)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19694) - you deserved it (2817)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (9039)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19690) - you deserved it (6112)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19690) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (2020)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (5374)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19683) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (66375)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (2030)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19678) - you deserved it (2637)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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